What One Question Would You Ask Robert If Given The Chance?

[nausearockpig]

we're not having kids. we have three cats.

[revolt]

heh that might be one of the few things i certainly wouldn't ask. and not because it was too personal but because i find that such a reasonable decision anyway, something that doesn't need explaining.

Well, Robert has said in interview that they didn't have kids because he felt he could never be a good father... He has also said that if Mary had really wanted kids then he would probably agree and go along with it (not his exacct words, but the meaning is this).

[i guess i'd rather ask "why?" all those people who do have/do want to have children. 

Well, having children is just the natural course of things. If this civilization was a healthy one and we as a species had a healthy relationship with each other and with our environment, then (almost) all of us would have have children and see it as the most natural and fulfilling thing to do...

[Padme]

I would ask him to sit & write a song w/ me.  Or if I could sing backup vocals on a song on a new album...

He is a nice person.  I met him on the Curiosa Festival and had my 10 year old niece w/ me.  He said to her:  "This must be your first Cure concert."  Everyone at the table started laughing!  He then asked me if this was my first concert but I told him no, this isn't my first Cure concert.  I've been to many before... 

[japanesebaby]

heh that might be one of the few things i certainly wouldn't ask. and not because it was too personal but because i find that such a reasonable decision anyway, something that doesn't need explaining.

Well, Robert has said in interview that they didn't have kids because he felt he could never be a good father... He has also said that if Mary had really wanted kids then he would probably agree and go along with it (not his exacct words, but the meaning is this).

so once again we have proof that women are always needed to make all really important decisions, men just can't make up their minds or end up doing as they are told. 

[i guess i'd rather ask "why?" all those people who do have/do want to have children. 

Well, having children is just the natural course of things. If this civilization was a healthy one and we as a species had a healthy relationship with each other and with our environment, then (almost) all of us would have have children and see it as the most natural and fulfilling thing to do...

yes i actually agree - IF this civilization was a healthy one. but since it's apparently not, i think questions like "why bring more people here to suffer, why bring more people here to strain and torture this planet even more than it's being strained now?" are actually quite valid. sadly.

(you see i'm not one of those people who hate kids for whatever reason, i'm simply disturbed to see how many people around me seem to have children simply because of some quite selfish reasons, so that the kids would make themselves feel somehow better. i'm a bit similarly disturbed as i am when i see people acknowledging the energy crisis that lies ahead due to the over-exploitation of natural resources but still not refusing to cut down their personal usage at all or refusing to start recycling simply because "it's tedious" and not "fun and easy".)

[revolt]

heh that might be one of the few things i certainly wouldn't ask. and not because it was too personal but because i find that such a reasonable decision anyway, something that doesn't need explaining.

Well, Robert has said in interview that they didn't have kids because he felt he could never be a good father... He has also said that if Mary had really wanted kids then he would probably agree and go along with it (not his exacct words, but the meaning is this).

so once again we have proof that women are always needed to make all really important decisions, men just can't make up their minds or end up doing as they are told. 

Not quite. Robert clearly meant that he would go away with it just to make her happy, because he loves her...

More generally, us men don't usually need you women to make important decisions. It's just that some decisions have to be made by the two together, as a couple...
Also many things we agree with we do it just for love. And love works against our better judgement, sometimes... 

[~*CherryRed*~]

Something I would dearly love (and this is purely a voyeuristic type thing) is someone 'good' to sit down with Mrs Smith and interview her. I'd love to have her take on life with Robert, and how she handles it. To have her perspective on The Cure would be really fascinating to me. I would gladly put my hand up for that job... but then I've never interviewed anyone and I doubt I have the proper technique required! I often wonder what she gets up to while her hubby tours the world and is stuck in recording sessions etc... My fella was in a band for a time, and I found it really hard being on the edge so to speak. Your sort of part of it, but then not really!! I found it a little lonely at times, as his attention wasn't fully on me as I'd have liked. Selfish perhaps, but then I'm not in the habit of being in a relationship with someone to be separate from them!

[revolt]

Something I would dearly love (and this is purely a voyeuristic type thing) is someone 'good' to sit down with Mrs Smith and interview her. I'd love to have her take on life with Robert, and how she handles it. To have her perspective on The Cure would be really fascinating to me. I would gladly put my hand up for that job... but then I've never interviewed anyone and I doubt I have the proper technique required! I often wonder what she gets up to while her hubby tours the world and is stuck in recording sessions etc... My fella was in a band for a time, and I found it really hard being on the edge so to speak. Your sort of part of it, but then not really!! I found it a little lonely at times, as his attention wasn't fully on me as I'd have liked. Selfish perhaps, but then I'm not in the habit of being in a relationship with someone to be separate from them!

Well, you know, that proximity / separation between Robert and Mary due to Cure recording sessions and touring has probably varied across the years. For instance, I think back in 1986 Mary and the other band members' girlfriends travelled together with The Cure, by train, for the whole tour. Also, there have been occasions where Mary (and the other girls too, I don't know how often this has happened, though) have attended recording sessions, sometimes for quite long periods of time, I believe: the KMKMKM sessions are one example of this, the band even went so far as have the girls vote for all the recorded songs in order to help them chose which ones would be included on the album...

[japanesebaby]

heh that might be one of the few things i certainly wouldn't ask. and not because it was too personal but because i find that such a reasonable decision anyway, something that doesn't need explaining.

Well, Robert has said in interview that they didn't have kids because he felt he could never be a good father... He has also said that if Mary had really wanted kids then he would probably agree and go along with it (not his exacct words, but the meaning is this).

so once again we have proof that women are always needed to make all really important decisions, men just can't make up their minds or end up doing as they are told. 

Not quite. Robert clearly meant that he would go away with it just to make her happy, because he loves her...

yes, exactly. and that's the scary thing in it: that people can give up their own judgement and consent to do something, something they would not do otherwise, just because they want to please someone.

Also many things we agree with we do it just for love. And love works against our better judgement, sometimes... 

yes, but people also make dumb decisions just for love. like, people are also known to have murdered other people "just for love".
and i'm not sure that makes a murder any more acceptable...

[revolt]

yes, exactly. and that's the scary thing in it: that people can give up their own judgement and consent to do something, something they would not do otherwise, just because they want to please someone.

But that's how we humans are... We are not talking here about just wanting to please SOMEONE... it'as about SOMEONE WE LOVE. That's a crucial aspect.

[yes, but people also make dumb decisions just for love. like, people are also known to have murdered other people "just for love".
and i'm not sure that makes a murder any more acceptable...

You are being kind of nasty, aren't you?  Murder is not a natural consequence of love. Having children is. Or trying to cut in some of your "selfish" hobbies time in order to have more time to be together with the one you love... Or something around those lines.

[japanesebaby]

yes, exactly. and that's the scary thing in it: that people can give up their own judgement and consent to do something, something they would not do otherwise, just because they want to please someone.

But that's how we humans are... We are not talking here about just wanting to please SOMEONE... it'as about SOMEONE WE LOVE. That's a crucial aspect.

yes, but my point was that... i mean if pleasing someone we love is not necessarily always something good and noble just because it was done "just for love". perhaps i just don't think things are that simple. or perhaps i just don't fully believe in such unselfish love between people. between a parent and a child i actually believe in it but between lovers, i think there's always a bit of selfishness there too.
anyway, this is already veering off so heavily that let's leave it there. :-P

[yes, but people also make dumb decisions just for love. like, people are also known to have murdered other people "just for love".
and i'm not sure that makes a murder any more acceptable...

You are being kind of nasty, aren't you?  Murder is not a natural consequence of love. Having children is. Or trying to cut in some of your "selfish" hobbies time in order to have more time to be together with the one you love... Or something around those lines.

no, i was not trying to be deliberately nasty, no. sorry if it sounded like that. i might be sarcastic at times but that's another thing.
i was actually being completely serious of what i was saying. i just meant that there is love and there is "love" - and sometimes it can happen when people say they did something "just for love" that you actually find yourself totally confused because you realize that love for you means something totally different than what this other person just meant by it. aaah perhaps i don't know how to explain myself... i meant that a person can kill someone out of jealous love and be absolutely convinced that he/she did it "for love", even though most of us would say that was certianly not an act of love. but it might have been for him - so which of us would be right about the nature of the feeling called "love"? can we say this is love and this is not? because love can be a weird thing that can make perfectly sane(!) people do some really weird (insane) things. although murder was perhaps a bit too extreme example, i know. a bad choice from me i suppose.

anyway - more questions for our dear robert??   

[revolt]

so which of us would be right about the nature of the feeling called "love"? can we say this is love and this is not? because love can be a weird thing that can make perfectly sane(!) people do some really weird (insane) things.

Love is a fire that burns unseen,
a wound that aches yet isn't felt,
an always discontent contentment,
a pain that rages without hurting,

a longing for nothing but to long,
a loneliness in the midst of people,
a never feeling pleased when pleased,
a passion that gains when lost in thought.

It's being enslaved of your own free will;
it's counting your defeat a victory;
it's staying loyal to your killer.

But if it's so self-contradictory,
how can Love, when Love chooses,
bring human hearts into sympathy?

(from XVIth century poet Luis de Camões, sonnet "Amor é fogo que arde sem se ver", translation by Richard Zenith)

[Lady]

He has also said that if Mary had really wanted kids then he would probably agree and go along with it

Mmm....this is an important decision that a couple should take together and not just to "make someone happy"...

[revolt]

He has also said that if Mary had really wanted kids then he would probably agree and go along with it

Mmm....this is an important decision that a couple should take together and not just to "make someone happy"...

Well, they did actually decide together not to have kids. It's just that in that interview Robert was being asked about the fact that they did not have children, so he did his best to explain the reason why. Anyway, I think one of the reasons he said what he said was just to express his love for Mary... This sort of confession has happened a few times along the years, even when there was nothing specific about the questions being addressed to him that would ask for such a love declaration, I guess it is just something he sometimes has felt the need to do.

Anyway, probably Mary wouldn't have accepted it if she knew that Robert's agreement was "just to make her happy"... I guess we'll never know about that. ( And well, we don't have to, because it is really none of our business.... )

[~*CherryRed*~]

Hmm, the question I wanted to ask seems to have generated alot of chat in here! As I have no children of my own I really don't understand the NEED some people have to become parents - each to their own however! I did read somewhere that Mr Smith had said he prefers to be an Uncle and not a father... And also lets not forget that at times Mr Smith is less than honest in interviews! Things that are personal, as this question really is, should get a lie as a response. If I was talented enough to warrant media intrusion into my life, I would lie constantly in interviews! More to make myself 'seem' more interesting than I actually am, but also to throw people of the scent! I think it is far easier to lie about something than come across as all up yourself and 'private'... that can come across as a tad wanky!

[~*CherryRed*~]

Oh I just had a thought (da da da darrrr  )... I reckon the reason children never happened for them anyway is the fact that Mr Smith was always touring or recording. [I find it amazing to think about how prolific The Cure/Mr Smith were in the begining. Not like today where bands find they don't need to tour nonstop to be heard, just look ay myspace!] Doesn't leave a lot of time to consider becoming a parent now does it! And bugger, why would you want to when your flying (or LOL, sailing...) around the world meeting interesting people and seeing amazing things? An international jetsetters lifestyle doesn't really incorporate children!