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Off-Topic => Something else => Topic started by: SueC on July 28, 2019, 06:11:21

Title: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on July 28, 2019, 06:11:21
OK, so I'm new to the forum and had an insanely good laugh here already with various people posting witticisms and clips of insane things - like Otto doing a Heino caricature, which you can catch on the German "Parkplatz" thread here...

http://curefans.com/index.php?topic=9194.msg770382#msg770382

So I thought we should build a special thread of insane entertainment, where we can all post anything that has us in stitches.

As this is a Cure site, what better place to start than existentialism.  If you've not yet faced the tomes of Sartre etc, and / or you keep falling asleep trying to read them, and / or they make you weep so much you need IV fluids while reading, this little link will help you out tremendously, because it is such a nice summary of the ideas behind existentialism...

https://pvspade.com/Sartre/cookbook.html

While we are dealing with classical reading, here's some applied literary stuff: How to insult someone creatively while growing your vocabulary and maximising your own amusement...

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html

And if that doesn't make you laugh, surely this next thing will.  It is a collection of music jokes so mean that my husband and I once spent three hours nearly rupturing our diaphragms and weeping hysterical tears reading and re-reading it when we were really supposed to be asleep...

https://osbornmusic.com/jokes.html

After we recovered from acute acidosis of the diaphragm and intercostal muscles, we sent in the one about the difference between a harpsichord and a trampoline.  If you've got anything to add, just email the dude.

And now some music.  Here's an example of "alternative" alternative music...


And here's an old favourite Swedish TV chef...


Even Sesame Street has its moments...


A friend introduced me to this character...


My husband and I are quite crazy and play a lot of word games, like turn-taking impromptu storytelling where you get a sentence and then it's the other person's turn, and you can really hijack each other's agenda.  So when we do yet another story about the purple crocodile (a character we invented in an early game), he usually tries to kill my princess by having the crocodile make a meal of her, and I keep on saying, "But she wasn't really dead, and what really happened is..."  You can try that at home, it's great fun.

Here's a crazy story we made up together one afternoon:

https://sue.coulstock.id.au/the-garden-of-edam/

If you ever have a large group of people around, you can play the storytelling game by passing a soccer ball around and the person who gets it has to add the next sentence, and then pass it on.  If you do the passing on randomly (but include everyone), you can really keep everyone on their toes.  And for extra mayhem, you can play this game one word at a time, but this only works if your group has a good understanding of grammar, as well as the ability to hyperfocus.

Another good game is the drama game "House" - for which you need at least two groups of around 6-8 people. Each group secretly chooses a room they're going to represent, and each person in their group then chooses an item of furniture, or possibly an appliance, used in that room, which they are going to mime (no talking allowed, but noises are OK, like whooshing if you're a washbasin).  The groups practice in separate places, then come back and perform in front of the other groups, who have to guess what room the performing group is and what items each of their people are.  As one person in the group is always a token human, this person goes around their group making use of the items the others are miming.  Which brings us to another rule:  No sitting on other people - you have to pretend, e.g. for using a sofa or chair.  The funniest mimes inevitably include the wheelbarrow (garden shed mime), and the toilet (almost everyone miming that tends to kneel on the ground with their arms looped in front of them to suggest the toilet bowl).

What weird pastimes do you have?

And what has you in stitches?

While we're on this, a few years ago I saw a clip on YouTube somewhere of The Cure busking, doing Home On The Prairie.  This was hilarious.  I didn't bookmark it, and can't find it now.  Does anyone have the link?
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on July 28, 2019, 09:33:49
Something else:  A lot of you would have enjoyed the comedy aspect of Love Cats (I thought the taxidermic specimens in the clip were a nice touch and wonder where they were borrowed from!).  Musical jokes on the theme of cats are a time-honoured tradition; in classical music, the most famous of them is probably Rossini's Comic Duet For Two Cats.  There's various performances of that piece on YouTube, and it's worth checking them out to see how different performers swing this one.  My personal favourite so far unfortunately has aspect ratio problems with the clip, but I thought it was worth looking past that because the facial expressions and demeanour of the two singers in it are so brilliant...


Other cat-related fun includes this classic from Aaron Copland:


If you like this kind of thing, we can recommend a little Australian compilation.  The title and tracklist are in the link; then you can take it from there.

https://trove.nla.gov.au/work/5751037?q&versionId=6686724

One of my favourite tracks off it is this... Wagner performed with flute, recorder, accordion and crumhorns...



A recording you can use to play tricks on people is this one:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/grunt-sandra-boynton/1111743346

It's a bona fide choir performing Gregorian chants, except they're surreptitiously singing things like Old Macdonald Had A Farm in Latin and Pig Latin.  You can put this on as background music when you've got particularly devout people around, and they'll think you're catering to their spirituality... even as the choirs intones E I E I O... hope you've got a poker face!


To something a little more modern, I'd like to introduce a fellow Australian to you by the name of Kate Miller-Heidke, if you've not heard of her already.  If you have because of Eurovision, forget that - this is different.  Here's her version of Talking Heads' Psychokiller:


Here in Australia, we have this aberration on television by the name of Australian Idol. Here's Kate's take:


By the last part of this song, I'm always crying laughing...
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 09, 2019, 14:29:01
OK, who wants to launch a rocket in their own kitchen? :angel

You will need a pair of scissors and an old-fashioned teabag - the rectangular type with a staple in the end and no crimping at the bottom.

Cut the teabag straight across the top close to the staple, and unfold it.  Put the contents in a teapot and brew the traditional way later.

You should now (if you had the right sort of teabag) have a tube you can stand up on its end.  Stand it on your cutting board in the middle of your kitchen bench (away from curtains and combustible objects), and make sure it is stable.  Avoid having draughts in the room - have windows closed, no fans going.  And then light the top of your rocket all around with a match.

Just when you think nothing is going to happen, it does!

If you're nimble, you can catch your rocket on its descent back to earth with the aid of a bucket or similar container.  Saves cleaning up. :-)

And now explain how it works.  ;)  (References to the kinetic theory would be great!)

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 13, 2019, 02:59:31
In case anyone hasn't seen this yet... :rofl

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 13, 2019, 03:59:22
Anyone who'd like a comic with a difference, this is from Brett's regular list, and both thought-provoking and amusing:

http://existentialcomics.com/comic/102

A friend, when we sent her this, sent us the following clips in return:




Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 18, 2019, 06:50:56
Something fun that the lovely Elizabeth got us hooked on:




:rofl
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 25, 2019, 03:23:03
Here's a sketch on marriage counselling from the classic late 1990s Australian series Seachange, which pointed a fine lens at common Australian foibles. Bob Jelly here represents a man barely evolved above cave-man level; unfortunately we have quite a few like that here - and Heather his long-suffering wife, acutely in need of emancipation.  Delightfully acted...

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on November 23, 2019, 17:07:52
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on January 14, 2020, 14:43:56
We already had the Shakespeare Insult Kit in an earlier post; here it is again:
http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html

These two related excellent pages have been kindly brought to my attention this week:

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/10-shakespearean-insults-that-work-better-than-modern-ones-a6998416.html

https://www.nosweatshakespeare.com/resources/shakespeare-insults/

Thank you!  :cool
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on January 15, 2020, 14:43:29
Who would bring "insults" to your attention? Crazy people everywhere, huh?  :winking_tongue
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on January 16, 2020, 09:07:50
Well, I think the definition of sanity is the ability to cope well with the insanities of other people.  :lol:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on January 16, 2020, 09:20:29
I think it is time to turn our attention to suitable drama for this thread.  As such, I will recommend a couple of things:




Wrapping up for today with a re-interpretation of Mr Darcy's first doomed marriage proposal from the film in that last clip:


"...and please accept my best wishes for your health and happiness!"  :rofl
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on January 16, 2020, 09:41:49
I think you might like this one:
https://lithub.com/lord-byron-used-to-call-william-wordsworth-turdsworth-and-yes-this-is-a-real-historical-fact/
Quote...the Romantic poets used to make fun of one another using (what else?) the kind of wordplay that reminds you they were basically all adolescent boys. According to Michael Wood's recent essay in the London Review of Books, about Susan J. Wolfson's academic book Romantic Shades and Shadows (published in August 2018 by Johns Hopkins Press), the poets used to make fun of William Wordsworth's so-literary-it-can't-be-real last name. Samuel Coleridge playfully referred to his own poem "The Nightingale" as "Bird's worth," while Lord Byron, ever the jokester, referred to Wordsworth as "Turdsworth."
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on January 16, 2020, 15:12:33
This is typical adolescent boy humour.  Irish comedian Dave Allen used to talk, in an exaggerated Irish accent, about "Richard te Turd"...

In Germany they used to say this (and I blush to repeat it, but will do so for the cultural comparison):

Schiller sagt zu Goethe, "Dein Arsch ist eine Flöte!"
Goethe sagt zu Schiller, "Dein Arsch ist eine Triller!"

Did the boys at your school parade this ditty around?

There's also a terrible Australian schoolboy version of Waltzing Matilda, whose lyrics I know very well because the boys used to sing them very loudly when I was a student.

It starts like this:

Waltzing Matilda
Who bloody killed her
Lying in the grass
With a dagger...
(I'm sorry, I can't complete this rhyme...)

It is terribly crass and crude, and like most schoolboy humour, has references to excrement, orifices and body functions... but I have to admit, I had sympathy for their singing of it, because when you're made to sing something you don't want to sing, you can at least redeem yourself from sheepdom by changing the words...
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on January 21, 2020, 04:17:12
After getting in the gutter in the last post, I think it's time to post a link to something more...elevated.  :angel  This is from my "other forum" where all sorts of strange things happen because it has a lot of people like me on it, with hypergraphia and strange senses of humour.   :1f631:

This is for the subset of Cure fans who enjoy Physics and / or black humour and / or working with animals.  :cool

Please note that the missing photos in the first post (because we can't do perpetual edits there) are, in order of encounter, a padded racing vest and knight's armour.

https://www.horseforum.com/horse-talk/falling-off-nerds-789799/#post1970533577

Enjoy!  :angel

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on January 21, 2020, 19:02:10
There's poetry, and there's poetry.  Two cheery long-time favourites:

Ode To The Amoeba
Arthur Guiterman
1871-1943

Recall from Time's abysmal chasm
That piece of primal protoplasm
The First Amoeba, strangely splendid,
From whom we're all of us descended.
That First Amoeba, weirdly clever,
Exists today and shall forever,
Because he reproduced by fission;
He split himself, and each division
And subdivision deemed it fitting
To keep on splitting, splitting, splitting;
So, whatsoe'er their billions be,
All, all amoebas still are he.
Zoologists discern his features
In every sort of breathing creatures,
Since all of every living species,
No matter how their breed increases
Or how their ranks have been recruited,
From him alone were evoluted.
King Solomon, the Queen of Sheba
And Hoover sprang from that amoeba;
Columbus, Shakespeare, Darwin, Shelley
Derived from that same bit of jelly.
So famed is he and well-connected,
His statue ought to be erected,
For you and I and William Beebe
Are undeniably amoebae!



I Saw A Jolly Hunter
Charles Causley
1917-2003

I saw a jolly hunter
With a jolly gun
Walking in the country
In the jolly sun.

In the jolly meadow
Sat a jolly hare.
Saw the jolly hunter.
Took jolly care.

Hunter jolly eager-
Sight of jolly prey.
Forgot gun pointing
Wrong jolly way.

Jolly hunter jolly head
Over heels gone.
Jolly old safety catch
Not jolly on.

Bang went the jolly gun.
Hunter jolly dead.
Jolly hare got clean away.
Jolly good, I said.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on February 20, 2020, 04:59:53
DIY accounting really is like this:



An ode to general misanthropy:

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on February 20, 2020, 10:27:31
Quote from: SueC on February 20, 2020, 04:59:53DIY accounting really is like this...

It is indeed.  :1f632:   :1f62e:  :persevere:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on February 20, 2020, 12:48:19
Something else insane and entertaining from another thread was when one forum member started reversing Cure lyrics recently.  See it here:  http://curefans.com/index.php?topic=3458.msg772000#msg772000

This prompted Brett and me to brainstorm "reverse" versions of Cure song titles from an alternative upside-down universe.  Here's what we came up with:

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fd21c.com%2Fwalpurgis9%2Fhalloween%2Fwitchfiles%2Fpart1%2F1107.jpg&f=1&nofb=1)

The Centre Of The Shallow Purple Desert
Photosynthesise
Hate Dogs
Europa Ascent
Freeze Cat Freeze
Harriet And Josephine (Stop, Stop, Stop)
Monday I'm A Misanthrope
The Bottom
Chocolate Bus
Charles Always
Sculptures Of Me
Pull
Right Letter
Always Too Much
Less Than That
Together
Drop
All Dogs Are Technicolour
If Only Today We Could Stay Awake
Why Can You Be Me
Slightly Interesting Footpath


Additions always welcome!  :cool
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on February 22, 2020, 05:50:05
From various Internet sources, with a bit of private ad-libbing:

A SHORT GUIDE TO COMPARATIVE RELIGION & PHILOSOPHY

Taoism: Shiitake happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shiitake happens."
Buddhism: If shiitake happens, it isn't really shiitake.
Zen Buddhism: What is the sound of shiitake happening?
Hinduism: This shiitake happened before.
Mormonism: This shiitake is going to happen again.
Islam: If shiitake happens, it is the Will of Allah.
Judaism: Why does this shiitake always happen to us?
Stoicism: This shiitake is its own reward.
Protestantism: Let this shiitake happen to someone else.
Calvinism: Shiitake happens because you don't work hard enough.
Pentecostalism: In Jesus' name, heal this shiitake!
Catholicism: Shiitake happens because you deserve it.
Zoroastrianism: Shiitake happens half the time.
Marxism: This shiitake is going to hit the fan.
Atheism: No shiitake.
Seventh Day Adventist: No shiitake on Saturdays.
Existentialism: Absurd shiitake.
Agnosticism: What is this shiitake?
Nihilism: Who gives a shiitake?
Deconstruction: Shiitake happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
Christian Science: Shiitake is in your mind.
Moonies: Only happy shiitake really happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, Knock, shiitake happens.
Scientology: Shiitake happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard
Hare Krishna: Shiitake happens, Rama Rama.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shiitake happening.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shiitake.
Equestrian: Look at all the shiitake in my wheelbarrow!
Eco-Hippy: Shiitake makes wonderful compost!

Prizes will be awarded for additions to the list! :)

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on February 22, 2020, 07:44:30
This is for @piggymirror, who expressed an interest in Australian spiders the other day - and anyone else who's an arachnophile / arachnophobe - and anyone who wants to enhance their experience of Lullaby.  I've had questions like that before, and had compiled a little something on Australian Huntsman spiders.

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.hfGUpf1XZORRDBRYJwy5VgHaEK%26pid%3DApi&f=1)


HUNTSMAN SPIDER TALES

Most Australians are familiar with Huntsman spiders because they are relatively common in gardens as well as in the bush, and will venture indoors from time to time.  They owe their name to actively hunting prey, rather than catching it in webs.  Classified as the Sparassidae, this spider family has over one thousand species spread through Australasia, Asia, the Mediterranean, Africa and the Americas.  There are around 150 Huntsman species downunder, with 95 of these recorded only in Australia.1  They belong to a big spread of genera and are quite diverse in appearance.  Most Huntsman spiders are large, all of them are fast, and the ones in Western Australia are especially hairy.  Huntsman spiders typically have leg spans up to 13 cm.  The largest Huntsman in the world lives in Laos and reaches leg spans of 30 cm.2

The speed of various Australian Huntsman spiders was recently measured, and found to range from an impressive 40+ body lengths per second for a species from Queensland, to a respectable 15 body lengths per second for the slowest species tested.1  Many of them can also jump very well.  No wonder people feel their hearts in their throats when one of these big spiders suddenly appears at top speed.

Huntsman spiders are shy and prefer to hide under bark, logs, rocks and eaves when not out prowling.  If you really annoy them, especially when the females are guarding their egg sacs, they can inflict a painful bite, but they're not venomous to humans.  As hunting spiders who ambush their prey, they have excellent eyesight, courtesy of eight eyes arranged in two rows of four.  Mostly they catch and eat insects (beetles, cockroaches, moths, grasshoppers, etc), plus the odd gecko, skink or other small vertebrate.  They typically live for 2.5 years, which is over double the life span of the average Australian spider.  Most Huntsman species are solitary, while some live together in colonies.


Hairy Meetings

I came to Australia from central Europe at age 11.  There weren't any big hairy spiders like that where I was from. I had no idea of their existence in Australia either for a few months after arrival, but then... Well, my father had bought a largely uncleared 50 hectare farming block and had this brilliant idea that we were all going to clear the land using axes and elbow grease. He organised four axes for the family members and handed them out to us with various exhortations. This phase was an unpopular phase and didn't last long; our neighbours had a good laugh and before too long he bought a tractor.

It was during this early axe-clearing phase that I was chopping down some prickly undergrowth near a large eucalyptus tree with really gnarly bark - a favourite Huntsman habitat, as I was to find out. As I was chopping away, wearing shorts because of the summer heat, I suddenly felt something tickling my knee and looked down - and next thing I jumped about a mile high, because one of those saucer-sized hairy things was running rapidly upwards on my leg. On coming back to Earth, I launched myself straight into a hysterical sort of anti-spider dance, until I was rid of the beastie.

They're not dangerous, but they do tend to put the wind up people when making sudden appearances, especially on your bare legs. Many years later, a colleague at coffee-break recounted driving to work on the Perth-Bunbury Highway and having a similar experience, with the added spicy detail of travelling at 110 km/h: Dressed in shorts because of the summer heat, tickling sensation on leg, had a look and - eeeek! She told us how almost in a trance she calmly and safely pulled over onto the verge, came to a stop, exited her car and then, and only then, rapidly jumped up and down yowling and flapping at herself until she was rid of the beastie.


A Spider Called Freddy

As a university student I once had a pet Huntsman, because I felt the need to behave like a sensible biologist and see these creatures through a bigger lens than mere cultural arachnophobia. The spider just turned up in my room, and I didn't chuck it out. Far from it, I bid it welcome, named it Freddy and saw to it that it had plenty to eat despite being indoors. My laboratory dissection kit had a lovely long probe which was excellent for catching flies and presenting them live as sort of wiggly shishkebabs to dear Freddy. When I had one, I located Freddy and brought the wiggly fly within about an inch of the spider's head. I always had to hold my breath and get really mentally focused so I wouldn't drop the probe when Freddy did his sudden and very spectacular pounce upon the fly.

And so Freddy and I had a happy association lasting many months. I'm sure you're interested in how it ended. Well, one morning I woke up to the sight of Freddy on the ceiling right above my bed, and initially I just marvelled at the amazing ability spiders have to cling to the undersides of relatively smooth surfaces. Their legs have some helpful structures for these sorts of acrobatics and it's all terribly admirable. But then I asked myself the question: Do they ever make a mistake and fall off? And since none of us are infallible, spiders included, I caught Freddy by means of a carefully placed huge glass pickle jar and piece of cardboard to slide between the spider and the ceiling once I had him surrounded. I then carried him in his jar out to the garden to re-unite him with the great outdoors, in which he was free to find his own prey and perhaps a lady spider. With any luck, Freddy's descendants are still out there.


Arachnophobia and Delicacies

Many people experience at least mild arachnophobia, which is why fake spiders remain effective novelty items for the young, and young at heart.  Arachnophobia keeps people away from spiders, which is usually good for people and spiders alike - though many people unfortunately loathe spiders, and kill them on sight.

Spiders though, like sharks, are far more frequently harmed, and even eaten, by humans, than the other way around.  There have been no confirmed deaths from spider bites in Australia since 1979.3   Also, few of us personally know anyone who has been attacked by a shark, but virtually all of us have eaten shark in the form of fish and chips.  Spiders were firmly on the edibles list of nomadic hunter-gatherers throughout the world, and in South America and Cambodia, deep-fried tarantulas are still eaten as a delicacy.  And why not, considering that spiders are closely related to lobsters, and few Westerners would think twice about tucking into those.  Deep-fried tarantula fans describe these beasties as wonderfully crunchy on the outside and delightfully chewy on the inside; a texture contrast us ordinary folk enjoy in potato croquettes or falafels.

While researching this topic, I came upon a delightful story from the 18th Century.  French astronomer de Lalande used to visit the naturalist d'Isjonville each Saturday, and there, to eat such spiders and caterpillars as he could find in the garden.  Eager to be a good host, Madame d'Isjonville began to collect them beforehand so she could serve them to him on his arrival.  Monsieur de Lalande, like many other spider-eating enthusiasts, reported that spiders taste of hazelnuts.4

I used to have this amazingly realistic fake Huntsman spider to put in people's coffee cups, until a colleague I pranked stole it and said that was the tax on pranking him.  (I also had a fake rubber snake that was ultra realistic. It was a loan for a year. The replacement I bought only fools people at a distance.)  The spider came with a magnetic backing so you could hang it onto curtains - very handy. When putting it in a coffee cup, the best thing was to put it in so that the front legs just hung slightly over the rim of the cup.

Huntsmen are harmless, but they still provoke that primal arachnophobic response. I have no issues with them when I know they are there, and was indeed often the person called upon by others to please remove that Huntsman / goanna / other creepy crawly to the outdoors. But the big hairy Huntsman spiders can still get to me if they surprise me - when I didn't know they were there.  And so I scared myself more often with my own fake spider than I scared other people with it - because I kept it in my stationery drawer and would forget it was in there...


REFERENCES

1. www.businessinsider.com.au:  Everything you need to know about Australian Huntsman spiders, April 2017

2. Wikipedia: Huntsman spiders

3. www.abc.net.au: How your worst fears stack up against reality, January 2018

4. Encyclopaedia of the Animal World, Bay Books, Sydney, 1982; p1709
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on March 05, 2020, 00:14:12
This is a fantastic short story about the nature of language, sanity etc.  It was originally brought to my attention by my senior high school English teacher (who exposed us to lots of fabulous stuff) and I've in turn introduced many other people to it.  Well worth reading and thinking about!

https://www.thewhitereview.org/fiction/a-table-is-a-table/
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on April 03, 2020, 06:36:00
(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.q-D451k8GpDrjhcuWQ2BIwHaJx%26pid%3DApi&f=1)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on April 19, 2020, 03:51:10
Mmmm... :lol:

QuoteA British woman in a long-term relationship with a 92-year-old German chandelier has been told that her attraction to historic light fittings is not considered to be a protected sexual orientation.

More here:  https://www.theguardian.com/media/2020/apr/14/the-sun-woman-attraction-to-chandeliers-not-a-sexual-orientation-ipso-says
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on April 20, 2020, 06:54:45
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on April 20, 2020, 09:00:50
https://thehardtimes.net/news/creationist-museum-denies-existence-dinosaur-jr/
Quote from: undefined"One of our patrons arrived at our facility wearing a bright purple shirt that read 'DINOSAUR JR' on it. We want to be clear that a 'junior' era of dinosaurs does not exist," read the statement. "Dinosaurs, however, did live alongside people, which can be seen in all fossil records not planted by the Devil."

Fans of Dinosaur Jr., an influential rock band known for drawling vocals and complex songs with heavy distortion, were perplexed by the sudden denial of Dinosaur Jr.'s existence. Felix Cummins, of nearby Cincinnati, Ohio refuted the museum's statement.

 :lol:  :winking_tongue
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on April 20, 2020, 12:57:17
Quote from: Ulrich on April 20, 2020, 09:00:50https://thehardtimes.net/news/creationist-museum-denies-existence-dinosaur-jr/
Quote from: undefined"One of our patrons arrived at our facility wearing a bright purple shirt that read 'DINOSAUR JR' on it. We want to be clear that a 'junior' era of dinosaurs does not exist," read the statement. "Dinosaurs, however, did live alongside people, which can be seen in all fossil records not planted by the Devil."

Fans of Dinosaur Jr., an influential rock band known for drawling vocals and complex songs with heavy distortion, were perplexed by the sudden denial of Dinosaur Jr.'s existence. Felix Cummins, of nearby Cincinnati, Ohio refuted the museum's statement.

 :lol:  :winking_tongue

ROFL

Why is it that so often in life, this little poem that was in the Prosh charity newspaper in Perth in the late 1980s comes to mind verbatim, as it has ever since that time?


I WISH I WERE A MORON

Happy is the moron
He doesn't give a damn
I wish I were a moron
Oh no! Perhaps I am!



(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.mog9G4HMdsdmI6VdPx9NFQAAAA%26pid%3DApi&f=1)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on May 03, 2020, 01:25:43
Normally it's uncool to post links to other people's problems on an insane entertainment thread, but this one really does qualify so nicely:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/apr/28/i-see-lockdown-as-a-chance-for-more-bdsm-but-my-girlfriend-doesnt

Ms Stephenson (who used to be on Not The Nine O'Clock News, which I used to laugh myself silly over) somehow missed the MeMyselfI-ness of this guy's thinking, but many of the people commenting didn't.  :P

An entertaining spin-off from coming across this epistle and associated commentary is what it has done to the conversations in our own house.

Person 1 stops for a moment to breathe after long languid kissing and says, "I know this is really strange, but I still don't have any urge to tie you to the furniture."

Person 2 replies, "Wait till I really annoy you!"   :evil:


Brett just said to me, "You know, Sue, you can tie me to the mainframe anytime you like!"  :angel  (We use the word "mainframe" for our desktop computer.)

Earlier on I was musing about what I was going to tie him to if that urge ever descended on me.  I was thinking the washing machine or the laundry basket, but Brett says they're not furniture.  I asked him if our shoe rack was furniture, and he thinks it is.  But I would have to bolt it to the floor first, unless I wanted him wearing it like an accessory...

I was wondering if there was any psychological significance to him and me both hypothesising about what I was going to tie him to, but perhaps it's a moot point because he could just hold me down (although not for very long; I trim horse hooves and am used to wrestling with large critters and coming out with an advantage).  Anyway, so I said, "So what would you tie me to, or are you too polite to make such a suggestion?"  He then suggested ratchet strapping me to the sofa.  We're very practical around here and think ratchet straps would be ideal for the job - they're nice and sturdy, they'd actually fit around the sofa, and their breaking strength is several tonnes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While we are on this extremely edifying topic... I remembered something...

When I was a university student, a friend of mine was making dog and cat collars as a sideline to finance her PhD in entomology.  One day she had a phone call asking if she could make some custom collars, and she asked, "Is this for a special size dog?"  Errrr, no, they said, it's for people, let us send you a catalogue to show you what we mean.

Upon receipt of this in the mail she phoned me and said, "Sue, you've got to come over and look at this!"  We spent an afternoon laughing over a catalogue.  OMG!  Get this!  Hahahaha!  :lol:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on May 15, 2020, 11:19:13
 :D  XD  :lol:
(https://scontent-dus1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/97007491_2941332782614776_4971551359540133888_n.png?_nc_cat=1&_nc_sid=da1649&_nc_oc=AQleQhETPObLtN-aIzzLdhpu6fNT3dYpy0jTKr-D0DUzae24-crSQNKhtHqHVfT-Rt3ouSBlx_r0jndM2toX2Dcd&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.xx&oh=89338201d23dea045b17dfa162f3f6d3&oe=5EE2F04C)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on May 16, 2020, 11:43:33
Yes, another thing you can do with people like this is to take tweezers into the meeting to pull out your nose hairs to stay awake and give yourself something different to think about!   :1f632:  XD

...or maybe you could actually pull out their nose hairs... :evil:

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.ZRlGsxA8EtwzhgF46EYmigHaEp%26pid%3DApi&f=1)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on May 18, 2020, 15:55:17
(https://media.guim.co.uk/b9398c2eb4bb1ff21818b00e5b19789f6c970be5/0_0_3508_6454/3508.jpg)

from https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/may/18/this-is-why-the-billionaires-have-all-of-the-money-and-you-do-not#comment-140762914
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on May 22, 2020, 16:56:00
In the tradition of the classic sadist-masochist joke comes the optimist-pessimist joke.

In case you don't know the classic joke:

The masochist says to the sadist, "Beat me!"
The sadist replies, "No!"


The pessimist says, "The world can't possibly get any worse!"
The optimist replies, "Yes, it can!"
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on June 08, 2020, 16:59:13
(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.D0xRlN7WildOKiAct6JkOAHaHu%26pid%3DApi&f=1)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on June 28, 2020, 10:28:54
Especially for Sue:

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on June 28, 2020, 13:36:44
Oh thank you, @Ulrich, that is extremely generous of you!  :angel

Here's another variation on this theme...

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on July 14, 2020, 00:53:45
Sadly, there was another obvious nominee for the 2020 Darwin Awards this week:

Quote from: undefined30-year-old dies after attending 'Covid party' in Texas

Patient said: 'I think I made a mistake, I thought this was a hoax, but it's not', according to health official.

from https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jul/13/30-year-old-dies-covid-party-texas

That's right, a Covid party - where someone who returned a positive test is present so other people can test whether or not it is possible to get SARS-CoV-2 off them.   :1f635:

For those of you who've not heard of the Darwin Awards, it's prizes awarded for humans removing themselves from the gene pool, thereby improving it.

https://darwinawards.com/

There was also a Japanese guy who live-streamed his own demise recently when he went beyond a Mt Fuji safety barrier without climbing equipment:

QuotePinnacle Of Stupidity
In the end, cold was not the culprit! 'Hands are numb...but must operate smart phone,' muttered 47-year-old Tedzu to his livestream audience as he skidded and stumbled up snow-covered Mt Fuji

You can look that one up on the Darwin Awards website.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 08, 2020, 09:30:37
Anyone else feeling flat?  Here's a super photoessay a dear friend just did:

https://borninprovidence.com/2020/08/06/the-death-of-common-sense/ (https://borninprovidence.com/2020/08/06/the-death-of-common-sense/)

A sample:

(https://borninprovidence.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/img_6006.jpg?w=662)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 11, 2020, 22:49:37
The other day, I was on a conventionally set up computer, and saw an online advertisement for the first time in years, while watching a YouTube clip.  My mind boggled.  I couldn't find the exact drawn-out ad, but here's a shorter version for the same product:


My husband gave it an immediate thumbs-up, primarily because he thinks it would be so much easier for him to remove.  He's always had difficulty with the catches on bras and you never see this kind of bafflement and frustrated exertion on Hollywood movies!  Offers to borrow some bras for practicing with the catches in his own time were not enthusiastically received.  This adhesive lark seems like a better system to him, but would you let someone else remove a band-aid from you?  :1f631:

(https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0065/4639/1143/files/bunny_bra_product_details_large.png?v=1561664483)

(...don't you just love the "environmentally material" bit?)

Naturally, I wondered if this product has other applications, such as, for instance:

1. Tweezerless nipple hair removal
2. Emergency removal of any other unwanted body hair
3. Decorative application to kneecaps when wearing shorts, perhaps to create a talking point
4. Convenient stabilisation of male genitalia when not in use - possibly for nude jogging

But most of all...

5. For dealing with a major problem area in the current American president:  His mouth.  It seems like a perfectly suited product to remedy this annoyance rapidly and efficiently.  If necessary, nostril holes could be cut in the rabbit ears to facilitate breathing, but this probably isn't necessary, and refraining from modifying the product would make it effective in the long term even after removal.  It would also enable the product to be immediately re-used on another loud-mouthed gargantuan narcissist.

Perhaps bulk packs could be obtained for parliamentary use.  :evil:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 26, 2020, 09:37:34
Brett is playing a game called Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup.  He's had to name minotaurs he is impersonating to be in the game, and since the fatality rate is high, he constantly needs new names and finally got around to The Cure - having recently exhausted Shakespearean characters.  He wishes to advise that Simon Gallup the Minotaur scored 17,901 points, and died from a scorpion sting; while Robert Smith the Minotaur scored a paltry 12,808 points but was notably slain by an elephant.

He will advise on the performance of the other three as soon as they are deceased.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on August 26, 2020, 11:11:57
Quote from: SueC on August 26, 2020, 09:37:34He wishes to advise that Simon Gallup the Minotaur scored 17,901 points, and died from a scorpion sting; while Robert Smith the Minotaur scored a paltry 12,808 points but was notably slain by an elephant.

Oh my oh my...  :1f632:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 26, 2020, 11:32:32
Bwahahahaha!  :angel

Roger O'Donnell the Minotaur narrowly escaped death from a rampaging mob of orcs by turning into a tree, and is still accumulating points (with or without a tambourine).
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 28, 2020, 00:37:44
A travelling Brett sends the following update:

"Day went pretty much how you would expect being stuck on a coach.  Nobody on the bus was wearing a mask except me. :-/

Alas, I'm afraid that Roger O'Donnell (the Minotaur) did not give a  good accounting of himself and died with a score orders of magnitude  less than Robert Smith (the Minotaur) or Simon Gallup (the Minotaur).  He only made it down as far as level 4 of the dungeon. Poor chap. Onto  the next victi-- I mean, hero."
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: word_on_a_wing on August 31, 2020, 16:39:58

😂😂😂😂
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on September 01, 2020, 16:31:59
Trailer for an Australian classic:

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on September 02, 2020, 06:52:18
Brett sends an update on Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup:

"Alas poor Reeves Gabrels (the Minotaur), slain by an orc on level 4 with a score too low to mention.  Let's hope Cooper is made of stronger stuff."
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on September 04, 2020, 14:52:52
Quote from: SueC on September 02, 2020, 06:52:18"...Let's hope Cooper is made of stronger stuff."

Wow, just wow. He's getting them all killed... :1f632:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on September 04, 2020, 15:36:17
Yeah, I know.  He goes through so many minotaurs.  :1f631:

Here's what happened with Jason Cooper the Minotaur:  Firstly, we report that because he's a cool cat, he had multiple lives.  :angel

In his third incarnation, he enjoyed his highest score, and came in third behind Simon Gallup the Minotaur and Robert Smith the Minotaur.

Brett has since killed Ringo the Minotaur, and is currently playing Shirley Manson of Garbage in this dungeon of doom.

Boys...  :-D

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on September 18, 2020, 14:30:24
Seen at the local hippie outfitters in Denmark, from whom I bought a pair of colourful patchwork pants:

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50355619731_d0976b8413_b.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2jHKHoc)

:lol:

Also...

A Late-Night Conversation

Brett:  I like the word halibut.  It's a great word.  As is krumhorn.

Sue:  Krrroom-horrrn.  In slightly mis-spelled German, that means "crooked horn"... which is how it looks...

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.ctOa5DDwObjlqpDriFOvCQAAAA%26pid%3DApi&f=1)

Brett:  I'd like to start a cigar company called Halibut.  That way I could say, "I'm smoking a halibut."

Sue:  You could smoke a halibut in a krumhorn.  Just dangle it in there and start a fire in the bottom; nice smoked fish a little later.  How big is a halibut?  ...oh, hang on.  Maybe you'd need an Alpenhorn...

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.DOHFFK_L_xEdVj0cOm-PHQHaFj%26pid%3DApi&f=1)

Brett:  You could smoke an Alpenhorn.

Sue:  What would you put in it?  A biscuit off a square bale of cannabis?  You know, use a pitchfork and stuff the bottom with it, and light it up with a drip torch?  And then the Alpenhorn player plays reverse notes?  (sings)  It's A Long Way To Tipperary...

Brett:  Who makes square bales of cannabis?

Sue:  Oh, Farmer Freddy.  After he mows and windrows his marijuana field.

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fjohnandkelsimellor.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F08%2F2012-08-20-03-05-221.jpg&f=1&nofb=1)

Brett:  He does that? And makes square bales?

Sue:  Well, round bales would be a bit large for this application.

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Ftheeclecticpoet.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F02%2Fround_bale_square_bale.jpg&f=1&nofb=1)

Brett:  Indeed.  How much would a round bale of that be worth?

Sue:  Oh no, the hay shed's on fire!

(Scene dissolves into laughter and cackling, just another Friday night at home...)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on September 23, 2020, 00:36:54
@Ulrich, Brett has an update on Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup for you.  Apparently Enid Blyton is the reigning grand champion of them all, beating even Simon Gallup's score by orders of magnitude.  He says Edgar Allan Poe also beat Simon Gallup.  Maybe being dead is an advantage in this game...
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 05, 2020, 15:39:04
Another update on Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup.  Brett says Gael Monfils is doing so well he should give up tennis and do this fulltime.  He's not even halfway to Enid Blyton's performance yet, but he's showing great promise.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on October 05, 2020, 16:03:02
Quote from: SueC on October 05, 2020, 15:39:04He's not even halfway to Enid Blyton's performance yet...

:lol:  :smth023
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 06, 2020, 13:15:27
Enid Blyton has a rune, apparently.  :lol:

...but she died, like everyone else...Monfils is still going...for now...
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 09, 2020, 13:38:48
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 11, 2020, 15:15:00
Some excellent photos on the theme of cats and their owners looking alike here:

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2020/oct/10/purrfect-match-cats-and-their-human-doubles

A single sample...

(https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/b8cd10abb3bc0ae5b7e31580d6b429485a7e34cf/0_298_3571_4464/master/3571.jpg?width=1600&quality=85&s=0b6780ac94da7482184e8cabfb2f83c0)

(https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/542e6b0077123474372ccc205428ef006248467e/327_712_2644_3304/master/2644.jpg?width=1600&quality=85&s=1d8edf5e86646c2c6d8a79049eb04212)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 14, 2020, 11:17:04
FUN GAMES FOR MARRIED PEOPLE

...which may also be tried out by the unwed... :angel


1. "I love you more than..."

In this game, you complete the sentence by thinking of really horrible things, so that a beginners' level sample conversation between a couple might look like this:

"I love you more than a bucket of vomit."

"You do?  Well, I love you more than toenail fungus."

Just keep upping the ante, being outrageous, diving into the sewer, and making lots of "oooh, aaah" sounds.  The use of adjectives like putrid enhances the experience.


2. Middle-of-the-night unexpected inversion

This game has to be played at night.  Wait until your beloved leaves the bed to use the smallest room in the house.  In their absence, invert yourself so that your feet are on the pillow and your head is at the bottom of the bed.  Drape your feet in the quilt so it's not so obvious (hopefully, your beloved doesn't actually turn the light on but knows how to navigate in the dark).  Think about something sad or do quadratic equations in your head to quell the urge to laugh.  Then enjoy your half-asleep beloved's mounting sense of confusion as they snuggle up to you.  :lol:

(to be continued)

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: word_on_a_wing on October 14, 2020, 15:24:05
One of the funniest videos I've seen of trump, too priceless not to to share...

 I laughed so hard  (https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10218655077150443&id=1303427044)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 15, 2020, 07:20:10
Dear @word_on_a_wing, I can't play it because I don't do FB and that platform apparently now stops people playing clips unless they log in.  :evil:  If you see this anywhere else, please let me know (but a quick search didn't turn anything up from this end).  :cool

A friend showed me some fence windows for dogs this morning which are quite amusing:

(https://images.ladbible.com/resize?type=jpeg&url=http://beta.ems.ladbiblegroup.com/s3/content/addf0ef75f7fe4b2cb8fecf0127de53a.png&quality=70&width=720&aspectratio=16:9&extend=white)

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcSXPyNvxPZ83FnPoxY6acwCgbB2o3NOFDmm4w&usqp=CAU)

Another way to do it:

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcSr35JY2-m2-E3UqngWlqQgo52gGAllPAbvhg&usqp=CAU)


Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on October 15, 2020, 10:59:58
Quote from: SueC on October 15, 2020, 07:20:10... I can't play it because I don't do FB and that platform apparently now stops people playing clips unless they log in.

Nope, I was able to play it without being logged in.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 15, 2020, 12:43:19
Initially it was telling me, "Join up or log in to continue!"  :evil:

I had another go and this time it showed me the bottom half of the clip - with the same message over the top half... but the sound was enough anyway. and I did see the viewer's face in response, in full, which was funny.  :lol:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on October 15, 2020, 13:29:13
I guess that's because what woaw posted is a "mobile phone" link. (If you remove the "m" out of the link it might work better, in case you watch from a laptop/PC.)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: word_on_a_wing on October 17, 2020, 09:44:18
Whoops sorry about that. I had searched for the it on YouTube because I'm not a big fan of Facebook and didn't want to post a link from there. Alas I couldn't find it anywhere else, so that's why I posted that one. Glad you could see it :)

Alas .... I find this an interesting word, and I wonder where it comes from.  My mind creates the following story:

Scotland a few centuries ago... person A is waiting for a (young male) person B. Grumbles to themselves "where is that laddie", someone walks in and person A
feels optimistic, then realises "oh, A Lass"  (I.e. it was a girl, not a laddie"). ...and that is surely the origins of the word Alas?! 🙃
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 18, 2020, 04:18:00
Quote from: word_on_a_wing on October 17, 2020, 09:44:18Whoops sorry about that. I had searched for the it on YouTube because I'm not a big fan of Facebook and didn't want to post a link from there. Alas I couldn't find it anywhere else, so that's why I posted that one. Glad you could see it :)

Thank you kindly. :)  If we couldn't laugh, we would cry, no?


Quote from: undefinedAlas .... I find this an interesting word, and I wonder where it comes from.  My mind creates the following story:

Scotland a few centuries ago... person A is waiting for a (young male) person B. Grumbles to themselves "where is that laddie", someone walks in and person A
feels optimistic, then realises "oh, A Lass"  (I.e. it was a girl, not a laddie"). ...and that is surely the origins of the word Alas?! 🙃

Hahaha, it seems you got handed a word-playing brain too!  Hours of amusement!  :lol:

So is it time to bring out the old "name" jokes?

Like... what do you call a man who lies on the floor?  (Matt.  ...sorry, @MAtT and & @Matti :angel)

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?  (Eileen.  As it happens, a good friend and adopted sister is called exactly this and she thinks it's very funny.  And I should have been a lawyer with a name like that, of course... and as I often point out to my spouse, Brett is German for "plank" bwahahaha!  :beaming-face)

What do you call a man with leaves in his pocket? (Russell.)

What do you call a woman standing in the centre of a tennis court?  (Annette.)

What do you call a man with a shovel?  (Doug.)

What do you call a man without a shovel?  (Douglas.)

What do you call a man floating in the ocean?  (Bob.  Sorry, Mr Smith, but it kind of fits the imagery in Underneath The Stars as well, bwahahaha.  And while we're at it, does anyone on Curefans need a good signature line?  How about "Bob's your uncle?"  It's not taken yet...  :winking_tongue)

What do you call a man who's been nailed to a wall?  (Art.  Of course...)

Anyone want to add to the list?   :angel
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 25, 2020, 01:47:43
We have just laughed ourselves silly over this article (https://www.theguardian.com/global/2018/jun/16/caitlin-moran-everything-i-know-about-sex) - one of the most hilarious reads on the subject ever.  :lol:

Quote"Spice up a long-term relationship - by telling each other your most secret sexual dreams," sex experts say. Absolutely never do this. It is terrible advice. If you've got by for 15 years without telling each other about your thing for Martina Navratilova, don't disrupt your delicate sexual ecosystem by suddenly throwing it into the mix on your birthday, when you're pissed, in your knickers, holding a tennis racket. It'll ruin Wimbledon for ever, for a start - and it tends to bring awful consequences. Unless you happen to be married to one of Britain's great character actors - Paddy Considine, say, or Toby Jones - suggesting role-play is likely to be an agony you will never forget. Your average 45-year-old husband's ability to convincingly play - without rehearsal or script - a hot pirate or sexually-curious-yet-repressed Victorian doctor is likely to be quite low.

The role you will end up playing, after half an hour of self-conscious Scottish accents and hat-wearing, is that of a frustrated Hollywood director, saying, "Let me tell you a bit about Dr Sexington's backstory. I think it would help give you more range", while your husband sadly detumesces and wishes he was in Equity, so he could make a complaint about hostile working conditions.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 26, 2020, 23:46:00
A friend stayed with us last week and took quite a few film clips around the place.  I thought this one was particularly funny:


So many times we've seen Don Quixote like this and wondered if he had died... he does an incredibly good impression of a corpse when he's asleep...

PS: If anyone particularly likes this animal stuff, I do more of that here (https://www.horseforum.com/member-journals/trotters-arabians-donkeys-other-people-479466/page277/#post1970917831) - and you could also contribute to our Animal Thread (http://curefans.com/index.php?topic=9292.0) on CF!  :)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on November 04, 2020, 18:16:42
About the US election:

(https://scontent-muc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/123978594_10218557207498487_6302314178662793739_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&ccb=2&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=7O6-fyHoIrQAX-i8YpD&_nc_ht=scontent-muc2-1.xx&oh=fe7005beb93242796fe54cadd1bc4059&oe=5FC7ED1D)

 :lol:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on November 17, 2020, 13:58:13
Looooooook!  :kissing_smiling_eyes:

Who knew Robert Smith has been moonlighting in producing geological information signs in the German language?   :angel

You cannot see attachments on this board.

You can't see this if you're not logged in!   :P
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on November 18, 2020, 22:35:31
🥰  😍  🤪  🥳

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on November 22, 2020, 17:19:30
Quote from: undefinedGETTING blind drunk with a mate on a freezing cold park bench is now the best thing to do at the weekend thanks to lockdown.
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/getting-pissed-in-the-park-on-cider-making-a-comeback-20201120202748

Guess what? Last night, at -2°Celsius I heard some young people outside near a bench being noisy (probably getting drunk)...  :1f62e:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on November 23, 2020, 05:07:55
Hahaha, @Ulrich!  :rofl

I can never relate to that - "nothing better to do than get pissed thanks to (insert excuse)"...

So many thousands of things to do on this planet, lockdown or not... even locked into your room, you can read, listen to music, learn an instrument, write letters to friends, write the next War & Peace, play Scrabble, learn to draw/paint/sculpt/knit/weave/spin yarn/etc, contemplate your navel, have a sort-out of your stuff, do handstands, meditate, belly dance, study online, [insert another thousand options here...]

And if you're free to explore the outdoors, add another googleplex of possible activities (especially if you're not in a city).

People! :P
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on November 24, 2020, 12:00:49
Quote from: SueC on November 23, 2020, 05:07:55I can never relate to that - "nothing better to do than get pissed thanks to (insert excuse)"..

Keep in mind that "The Daily Mash" is a satirical website. ;)

Of course the article found its counterpart in reality, when I heard these young people "celebrating" outside in the cold (I guess you need to be young to enjoy drinking at -2°)...

I wasn't so amused when I had to pick up a broken wine bottle on the sidewalk. :unamused:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on November 24, 2020, 12:33:20
Yeah, point about the satire, and isn't comedy best sometimes when it's barely distinguishable from reality?  (Like Dave Allen and his jokes about people...)


Broken bottles are not fun - I distinctly remember a classmate of mine in middle school nearly slicing her big toe off on one that some idiot had thrown in the water, when we all went swimming in the weir on a school excursion - she was white as a ghost coming out of the water and bleeding everywhere, and had to be pressure-bandaged and carted off to hospital.  And it's so common, broken bottles everywhere, not to mention all the darn discarded bottles and cans of mostly booze in the rural roadsides in Australia - where drinking while driving is de rigeur...

Your young people remind me of a young neighbour of ours when we were still living in Albany, coming back late at night when he'd turned 18... and we woke after midnight to the sound of his violent retching as he was throwing up all over the (shared) front lawn... just lovely. 🤢 🤮

I suppose the lawn benefitted... fertiliser... assuming he also ate something... 💩
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on November 27, 2020, 23:19:29

...I really hope the chicken is house-trained!  :P

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on December 05, 2020, 12:53:26
Pavlov was having a drink in a pub when the phone rang.  He said, "That reminds me - I've got to feed my dogs!"
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on December 05, 2020, 13:02:54
I had to dig this up again...a classic.

by Alexander Calandra - an article from Current Science, Teacher's Edition, 1964.

Some time ago, I received a call from a colleague who asked if I would be the referee on the grading of an examination question. It seemed that he was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student claimed he should receive a perfect score and would do so if the system were not set up against the student. The instructor and the student agreed to submit this to an impartial arbiter, and I was selected.

The Barometer Problem

I went to my colleague's office and read the examination question, which was, "Show how it is possible to determine the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer."

The student's answer was, "Take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower the barometer to the street, and then bring it up, measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of the building."

Now, this is a very interesting answer, but should the student get credit for it? I pointed out that the student really had a strong case for full credit, since he had answered the question completely and correctly. On the other hand, if full credit were given, it could well contribute to a high grade for the student in his physics course. A high grade is supposed to certify that the student knows some physics, but the answer to the question did not confirm this. With this in mind, I suggested that the student have another try at answering the question. I was not surprised that my colleague agreed to this, but I was surprised that the student did.

Acting in terms of the agreement, I gave the student six minutes to answer the question, with the warning that the answer should show some knowledge of physics. At the end of five minutes, he had not written anything. I asked if he wished to give up, since I had another class to take care of, but he said no, he was not giving up. He had many answers to this problem; he was just thinking of the best one. I excused myself for interrupting him, and asked him to please go on. In the next minute, he dashed off his answer, which was:

"Take the barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof. Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch. Then, using the formula S = 1/2 at2, calculate the height of the building."

At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up. He conceded and I gave the student almost full credit. In leaving my colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said he had other answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were.

"Oh, yes," said the student. "There are many ways of getting the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by the use of simple proportion, determine the height of the building."

"Fine," I said. "And the others?"

"Yes," said the student. "There is a very basic measurement method that you will like. In this method, you take the barometer and begin to walk up the stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and this will give you the height of the building in barometer units. A very direct method.

"Of course, if you want a more sophisticated method, you can tie the barometer to the end of a string, swing it as a pendulum, and determine the value of 'g' at the street level and at the top of the building. From the difference between the two values of 'g', the height of the building can, in principle, be calculated."

Finally, he concluded, "If you don't limit me to physics solutions to this problem, there are many other answers, such as taking the barometer to the basement and knocking on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you speak to him as follows: 'Dear Mr. Superintendent, here I have a very fine barometer. If you will tell me the height of this building, I will give you this barometer.'"

At this point, I asked the student if he really didn't know the expected answer to the problem. He admitted that he did, but that he was fed up with college instructors trying to teach him how to think.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on December 07, 2020, 10:22:26
(https://media.guim.co.uk/ea2a21977a5d5e9e2090aa72341d6609b24c9fd7/0_0_3508_6966/3508.jpg)

from https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/dec/07/santa-are-you-one-of-the-grown-ups-who-lies-or-one-who-shatters-the-magic-of-childhood
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on December 08, 2020, 17:17:30
Hilarious...

Sanitizer's coming into town!  :lol:


I'm planning for a shite Christmas...  :winking_tongue
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on December 19, 2020, 00:23:39
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on December 19, 2020, 12:58:49
Seems like I'd been looking in the wrong places for all those years...  ;)

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/13519585/amateur-archaeologist-locates-holy-grail-river-hounslow/amp/

(That article is ridiculous - of course, it's "The Sun" - nobody has been looking "for 2000 years", the Grail legends appeared much later...)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on December 19, 2020, 14:18:04
What are you doing, reading The Sun? :1f635:  Don't you know that this sort of rag erodes the IQ? :P  It's like a gradual lobotomy. :1f636:

Yeah, I know you're using lots of effective antidotes, and sometimes one just has to look into the cesspool because to completely ignore it isn't healthy either, plus critiquing the cesspool tends to generate new and useful neural connections... but you handed me a spoon, so I needed to stir!  ;)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on December 19, 2020, 16:53:44
Quote from: SueC on December 19, 2020, 14:18:04What are you doing, reading The Sun?

No of course not, the link was brought to my attention on FB when the daughter of a "serious" (ahem) Grailhunter shared it with her dad... his comment was "I can get the bus", seeing he does not live too far from Hounslow.  :lol:

Not too surprisingly, even the Daily Mail can do a better article than the "Sun"...
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9070109/Is-Holy-Grail-HOUNSLOW-Amateur-archaeologist-convinced-relic-hidden-river-London.html
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on December 20, 2020, 10:53:59
Seems like Chris Rea heard me (when I said he needn't drive off this year)...

(https://scontent-frt3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p526x296/131973330_3850498191683303_6646974813403849857_o.jpg?_nc_cat=106&ccb=2&_nc_sid=825194&_nc_ohc=6xRgyInssacAX-4aqax&_nc_ht=scontent-frt3-1.xx&tp=6&oh=9acb01b70bed82e188e90fd8d1cc3acc&oe=60051A7A)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on December 21, 2020, 14:32:57
An insanely entertaining documentary on the history of food, complete with dress-ups!  Old favourite.  :cool

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on December 24, 2020, 11:36:05
Here's something silly we made for the slightly unhinged to enjoy at Christmas. 🤪


Merry Christmas to all of you!  🎄💫
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on December 25, 2020, 10:56:28
Thanks to the "subtitles" I did understand most of it!  :smth023
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on December 25, 2020, 20:55:15
There's a fun article in The Guardian about Australian place names:

(https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/09125fefb1b92555a46a29165acf9cc755e4f213/274_268_879_528/master/879.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=d9c2392d3511b974d38c50e262a62290)
Here: https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/dec/26/spanker-knob-bullshit-hill-and-guys-dirty-hole-are-all-real-places-in-australia

They forgot about Denmark, Western Australia, and Dootown, Tasmania, and our favourite, Lower Crackpot, also in Tasmania:

(https://i.pinimg.com/236x/16/24/87/16248789c25bda240a0e10508c0995c2.jpg)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on December 29, 2020, 16:38:32
For f*ck's sake, I can't f***in' stop myself from sharing this sh!t with you:

https://www.theverge.com/2020/12/22/22195341/nicholas-cage-history-of-swear-words-netflix-trailer

QuoteIf you've ever wondered how profanity actually became profane, Nicolas Cage is here to help you out. The actor is no stranger to swearing, but in Netflix's upcoming show History of Swear Words he'll be doing it in a more educational way. Though, if the trailer's indicative of what the show is going to be like, it'll still be very entertaining.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on December 30, 2020, 00:34:29
(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.a8xVEPpWi6_BTXOX1Cd3ZwHaGX%26pid%3DApi&f=1)

(in case anyone needs to wash)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on January 15, 2021, 08:34:44
More from our national treasure, Michael Leunig:

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.sQAQOjKXxXJz6iU9aH79sQAAAA%26pid%3DApi&f=1)

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.uWW0CJ1q1R-ObeShb85YDAHaFP%26pid%3DApi&f=1)

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.FHt__MCEK38UvShdNLEGoAHaHj%26pid%3DApi&f=1)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on January 27, 2021, 14:08:05
QuotePlace one clock at the top of a mountain. Place another on the beach. Eventually, you'll see that each clock tells a different time. Why? Time moves slower as you get closer to Earth, because, as Einstein posited in his theory of general relativity, the gravity of a large mass, like Earth, warps the space and time around it.

Scientists first observed this "time dilation" effect on the cosmic scale, such as when a star passes near a black hole. Then, in 2010, researchers observed the same effect on a much smaller scale, using two extremely precise atomic clocks, one placed 33 centimeters higher than the other. Again, time moved slower for the clock closer to Earth.
https://bigthink.com/surprising-science/time-perception
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on January 30, 2021, 07:43:38
Years ago, when pocket books on positivity and light were all the rage and around every bookshop counter, Kaz Cooke published a delightful little thing called something like The Pocket Book Of Negatives (out of print now and I can't find it anywhere).  It was a negative thought for every circumstance.  :lol:

I thought to myself:  What would I write about, were I to write a pocket book?  And essentially, it's this:


COOKING WITH AN IRON

...emergency cookery when you have no other means of cooking available, say in a motel room.  Here's a verbal sketch - if there's any able illustrators reading, I could be persuaded to do a collaboration!  :)


Toast

Cotton setting, 2 minutes each side - more depending on bread type and desired amount of caramelisation.


Eggs Sunny Side Up

Use medium setting.  Hold iron upside down and perfectly level.  Crack up to two eggs onto the iron's surface (you may require an assistant, or a bench vise and spirit level).  Cook 3 minutes.  Extend time for less runny yolks.  Slide eggs onto toast for low-mess eating.


Toasted Cheesies

Open sandwiches are not recommended here, as it would necessitate tedious post-cooking cleaning of the iron or the opposing surface.  Use two thin slices of bread, sandwich them around the cheese, and apply the iron (cotton setting) to first one side, then the other, until the cheese is melted and the bread surface has caramelised to your liking.  The process can be accelerated by the simultaneous use of two irons.


Steaks

Cotton setting, 5 minutes each side, for medium rare.  Decrease time accordingly for rare, increase time for well done; 30 minutes each side will give you good shoe leather.


Roast Chicken

Insert iron, wrap chicken in alfoil, cotton setting with steam, 4 hours.  (Time may vary depending on size of chicken.  Roast turkey can be accomplished with this method but takes a little longer.)


Vegetables

Cook using steam setting.


Notes for Lamb or Mutton

Brett says it's very important to use the wool setting when cooking lamb or mutton.



(Watch this space for updates/additions - feel free to make suggestions!)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on February 04, 2021, 01:04:03
Who Wants To Play?

Three Real Girls
71 Eons
Agnosticism
Catechism
The Bottom
Foot On The Floor
Hit Me, Hit Me, Hit Me
Reintegration
Fulfillment
An Even Temperament
Lymphpotatoes
The Disease
13:4 Reality


(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fd21c.com%2Fwalpurgis9%2Fhalloween%2Fwitchfiles%2Fpart1%2F1107.jpg&f=1&nofb=1)

Also:

Hide
Calcutta
Inuit Shouting
The Emu:  Extinguish
Break The Line:  A-Sides & Common Things
Pamphlet
Random Selection
Dead In Jekyll Drive


Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on February 17, 2021, 00:09:58
Ultra-Romantic Bedroom Conversation

Disclaimer:  Any resemblance to persons living or deceased is entirely coincidental.  :angel


She (appreciatively): Mmmmh.  You do realise that if anyone else tried to touch me like this, I'd shoot them.

He: We don't actually have a firearm.

She: I would go find one.

He: What sort would you go for?

She: A medieval cannon, I think.

He: (whistles 1812 overture)

She: Hey! This is not an earworm I want for a romantic interlude.

He (laughing): Yes, it is a bit inappropriate for that.

She (archly): Unless someone is looking to fire their cannon.

He (genuinely shocked and spluttering): Excuse me?

(Riotous laughter ensues)

He: Nobody would believe this conversation.  Normal people don't have conversations like this.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on February 21, 2021, 08:30:21
We bought a new game today - it looks very promising:

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.shopify.com%2Fs%2Ffiles%2F1%2F0345%2F9180%2F1483%2Fproducts%2Fpfn-hero_1200x1200.png%3Fv%3D1592267527&f=1&nofb=1)

(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Facrosstheboardcafe.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2020%2F06%2Fpoetry-3.png&f=1&nofb=1)

You have to explain concepts like emotional intimacy, emergency room and vacuum in "Neanderthal-speak" - you're only allowed to use single syllable words in your sentences and if you slip up and use multi-syllable words you get hit with an inflatable cudgel.  :lol:

In our initial run-through, just the two of us playing, we found it was more fun (and more egalitarian) to share the inflatable cudgel so that the guesser can hit the poet for accidentally using words containing more than one syllable, but ADDITIONALLY the poet can hit the guesser for really stupid guesses.


There's an optional activity where you have to do fill-in-the-blanks poetry, and you get hit or not depending on how the others like your finished poem.  The poetry cards can't be called poetry cards because poetry has three syllables, so they're called "Grok's Words of Love and Sad" cards.

Here's an example (fill with single syllable words only):

Grok'n'Roll

Grok love make loud sound
Grok throw ______ on to ground
Grok hit drum with ______ in hand
Grok start first ______ band.


Hours of fun.

(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/66/10/92/661092fad3974bce7d1b957d9508d2d7.jpg)

PS:  And now, of course, we are trying to re-write Cure lyrics in Neanderthal-speak.  We made the discovery that Friday I'm In Love is already mostly Neanderthal-speak.  Here goes:

Day Five Me In Love
Please note:  Day Five is last day of work week!

Me no care if Day One blue
Day Two grey and Day Three too
Day Four me no care for you
On Day Five me in love

Day One you can hack off part
Day Two, Day Three break my heart
Day Four does not start to start
On Day Five me in love

Day Six wait
And Last Day e'er comes too late
But Day Five ne'er pause to wait

Me no care if Day One black
Day Two, Day Three heart stop whack
Day Four ne'er me look back
On Day Five me in love


That was easy, and within the rules, even if it ended up sounding like a bit of a cross between Neanderthal-speak and a drunken mathematician who enjoys reading Wordsworth.  We chose to include ne'er (and e'er) because it's become a word outright with different and more elevated connotations than the original "never" rather than being a simple contraction like don't, and it has just one spoken syllable, but if you want to quibble, just substitute not.

Brett says that the ease with which this song was translated entirely into one-syllable words probably helps to explain its great popularity with the general public.

We need to do something more complex like the lyrics to Disintegration.  I'll just start with the title:  Is when you fall to bits.  The rest is a bit more challenging and I see no hope of preserving any semblance of the metre or rhyme there.  :beaming-face
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on March 10, 2021, 14:27:50
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on April 01, 2021, 18:46:24
Considering the stupid things people do, it's a bit of a joke that our official species name is Homo sapiens.  I've been referring to us as Homo allegedly sapiens for yonks.

But today we needed to find a substitution list for the official name of our species, because one of my friends told the following story:

QuoteApparently they once had a boarder with a nice, gentle horse. The owner decided one day to work on desensitizing to plastic bags. For some unknown reason, she tied a plastic bag into the horse's mane. Then the wind blew...

After the horse ran through his own fence, he ran about a mile straight through the neighborhoods surrounding the barn, up a steep hill, and then jumped over the barrier fence that led to the highway. After that he turned and ran straight down the highway. It happened that two semi trucks were going along, and saw the horse. There was a narrow turn off, and one trucker went ahead and turned his truck to block the road while the other came behind the horse and cut off his escape route. Another man driving a car stopped and jumped out, caught the horse and took the plastic bag off the horse, at which point he immediately calmed down. Poor horse. He was going to run across the state, with the devil chasing him just above his neck.

Pretty amazing he didn't get killed.

I'm not sure if non-horse-people will fully appreciate the incredible stupidity of tying a plastic bag to the mane of a horse not desensitised to plastic bags... but it's about as predictable as what will happen if you insert your arm into a large crocodile's mouth...

This got us discussing the need to correct our species name all over again.  A friend suggested:

Homo ridiculus
Hubris vainicus  (...because the software where we're discussing this censors Homo because some of our illustrious species use it as a slur...and Hubris sounds like a great suggestion for our new genus classification; we're too far gone from other hominids in this direction to deserve to be called Homo anymore anyway...)

Other possibilities I'm playing with:

Homo excrementum
(or Homo stercus, look it up)
Homo insufferabilicus
Homo vacuosa
Homo odiferus
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on April 07, 2021, 00:47:58
This is a good one:

(https://www.horseforum.com/attachments/society-jpg.1111830/)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on April 26, 2021, 15:38:40
I sometimes entertain myself by answering forum questions literally.  There was a question on the Horse forum today, "Can I get penalised showjumping for going to fast?"  (my emphasis)

And I delighted in answering thusly:

If you're going to fast at a showjumping competition, it's not usually a problem because the horse is doing all the work; unless the lack of food makes you so weak you fall off your horse, in which case you get a points penalty. 😇 😜
 
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on April 28, 2021, 15:32:11
Hahahaha!

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E0A2QxyX0Ak7fsC?format=jpg&name=small)
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E0A2QxyX0Ak7fsC?format=jpg&name=small

...almost makes me want to go and do this, just to see the looks on people's faces.  Would be especially effective if you could do it in your local Bible Belt...  :evil:  :angel  :beaming-face
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on May 08, 2021, 02:49:47

The music bit is hilarious and starts around 4 minutes in with a bit of a lampooning of punk, before explaining/lampooning various types of metal.  However, the lead-in comedy about Australian versus British attitudes is also good fun.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on May 29, 2021, 07:46:39
(https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/SocratesThroughTime.png)

from https://www.existentialcomics.com/
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on May 29, 2021, 08:01:11
...and even better...  :rofl

(https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/KierkegaardGoestoTherapy.png)

from https://www.existentialcomics.com
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on June 10, 2021, 19:04:21
(https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/ADayintheLifeofArthurSchopenhauer1.png)

(https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/ADayintheLifeofArthurSchopenhauer2.png)

(https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/SchopenhauersDespair.png)

More here: https://www.existentialcomics.com/philosopher/Arthur_Schopenhauer
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on June 15, 2021, 18:20:58
(https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/MeditationsonSecondPhilosophy.png)

More here: https://www.existentialcomics.com/philosopher/Rene_Descartes
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Matti on June 19, 2021, 23:24:29
Quote from: SueC on February 04, 2021, 01:04:03Who Wants To Play?
Here, me!

Sorry for being late to the party, but I'd like to add a few things:

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on June 20, 2021, 04:56:48
Hullo, @Matti!  :)  Hope you're well; lovely to hear from you!

And welcome to the party. 🥳

(1) was easy, (3) is hilarious!  :lol:  (...and is it also an oxymoron?...although that would depend on your views on ethics etc...)  Brett says it would also make a nice album title!

But (2) is giving me a cryptic crossword headache. It sounds like it should be obvious and even has TWO hints, but I'm relatively new to this huge catalogue...looks like I will have to go away and let my subconscious at this while doing something else... (this will probably cause me to slap my forehead, when the light bulb goes on...)

Brett thinks maybe (2) is an extended version of Want but it doesn't seem to click properly with the clues... (maybe I'm overthinking it - I'm looking for an original title with words or ideas about acceptance, goodwill etc...)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Matti on June 20, 2021, 22:10:08
To be honest, about (2) I'm not too sure myself. I may have a degree in English studies, but that doesn't mean I'm always 100% sure about vocabulary... Maybe Thank would have been a better choice.

It took me a while to get my head around the Emu thing btw.

More noteworthy singles: Driving your Own Car, Yves Always, and Boredom Square.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on June 21, 2021, 01:18:00
That emu thing was a bit evil but extinguish more obvious.  :)

Very nice.  :cool  We had the second and third of those as Charles Always and Slightly Interesting Footpath last year in: http://curefans.com/index.php?topic=9195.msg772069#msg772069

It's so cool that the level of English language use amongst Germans on this forum is significantly above average native speaker written expression in this country - and it's also sadly a woeful reflection on language teaching standards at primary school level in Australia. Ever looked at Australian forums?  :1f62e: I've marked tons of essays from age 12 students to undergraduate level and it really would be considered a national catastrophe if things were like that in Germany. We had a German guest over the weekend who emigrated here a couple of years ago and he was remarking on this over dinner!  :1f631:

I still love my erstwhile Year 1/2 teacher, one Frau Susanne Schestag - fabulous language and learning foundations at the really crucial stage, and a wonderful warm fun person. ❤️

I shall think about your alternative clue!
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on July 03, 2021, 11:59:47
In Denmark (Western Australia) today, we saw a boy wearing a T-shirt with this on it:

IT'S A LONG WAY TO THE SHOP IF YOU WANT A SAUSAGE ROLL

...and we cracked up laughing. Do you have to be Australian to get this one? Just in case, we googled to see if anyone had done this version, and indeed...

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on July 07, 2021, 09:19:43
Quote from: SueC on July 03, 2021, 11:59:47Do you have to be Australian to get this one?

No, but it might be helpful if you know a few AC/DC song titles...
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on July 07, 2021, 12:50:42
You know what's sad about that performance, @Ulrich? It's not a bad take, but I abhor the fake American accent that a lot of Aussies seem compelled to put on when they are singing. Even The Church bled into this territory when they recorded an album in LA. I'm not a musician, but I'd rather starve than sing with an American accent. It's such an ass-kissing and fake thing to do. And the real joke is that AC/DC were an Australian band and for once actually did NOT sing with American accents!
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on July 30, 2021, 04:21:21
The other day I came across a really beautiful word, which I've promptly forgotten - but if I ever remember what it was, I'll edit it into here. Anyway, I mentioned it to my husband, and said that the word sounded so much nicer than diarrhoea which was apparently rated as one of the most beautiful-sounding words in the English language by non-English speakers who had English words spoken to them for a "beauty road-test" without being aware of the meanings of the words.

This got us thinking, as it usually does. We decided that the word fellatio really did sound like it belonged into classical musical vocabulary, along with andante, pianissimo, staccato, allegro etc etc. So we went to an old music book and...

(http://coulstock.id.au/photos/the_happy_farmer.png)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Matti on July 30, 2021, 07:50:34
Mwahahahah, never seen this before - what does it actually mean? "Play it so it blows your mind"?

Btw. I love the hand-written note above.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on July 30, 2021, 08:17:52
Hiya Matti! How's the weather in Germany? It's 11 degrees with gale-force winds and rain here, so definitely an indoors day. And I'm still stuck on the title you clued as Thank...

Quote from: Matti on July 30, 2021, 07:50:34Mwahahahah, never seen this before - what does it actually mean? "Play it so it blows your mind"?

ROFL. You'd have to make your own interpretation, I suppose. :lol:

Originally it was "Allegro giocoso" - "playful allegro"... We were just looking through an old practice book to try to implement that little idea by substituting it in somewhere, and it literally fell open at this piece, which immediately added all sorts of its own overtones.  :beaming-face

Would you expect to see "Fellatio (whether giocoso or pianissimo or maestoso or pastorale or ¡Arriba, arriba! ¡Ándale, ándale! or whatever :evil:)" more liberally used in learning books for brass and woodwind than for stringed instruments perhaps?  :-D

(And if so, would it be at peak use in a book for saxophone?  :angel)


Quote from: Matti on July 30, 2021, 07:50:34Btw. I love the hand-written note above.

Haha. It was such a trial doing especially the first half of Suzuki Volume I as an adult beginner - the first half is basically "Baa Baa Black Sheep, Have You Any Wool? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRHvTTOR8Ns)"  :1f632:

Midway you finally get some rhythmically interesting stuff, followed by three not-bad pieces of Bach. And then that thing we reproduced above... :1f636:
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 13, 2021, 12:35:05
Dave Allen explains theology.  :winking_tongue

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Matti on August 16, 2021, 07:48:32
Quote from: SueC on July 30, 2021, 08:17:52three not-bad pieces of Bach
Do I sense a bit of iconoclasm here?  :D

btw the weather is what I'd call a bipolar summer: we get a nice heat wave every once in a while followed by a few days of pouring rain. I love it.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 16, 2021, 11:15:32
No iconoclasm in this particular instance, I think, @Matti - it's just they are necessarily short, simple pieces, and not as spectacular as some of the longer, more complex stuff that's not on the beginner menu!  :)

Like the Toccata & Fugue.

If you made any noteworthy comments on your own sheet music when you were a beginner, you can follow my own good example and share!  :winking_tongue
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on August 20, 2021, 13:40:06
It occurred to me a while back that crustacean rhymes with bus station. And then, of course, I had to make use of this fact.


THE CRUSTACEAN AT THE BUS STATION 🦀

There was a fine crustacean
At Waterloo Bus Station
His name was Mr Crab
And he came in a cab
After a scrumptious Devonshire Tea
He was returning to the sea
Quite looking forward to the ride
That would return him to the tide
He was missing the little fishes
And had lots of watery wishes
When you next stand beside the sea
Remember Mr Crab for me!



Inviting all members to post their silly ditties here.  :beaming-face
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on September 22, 2021, 12:49:12
NOW WE'VE HEARD EVERYTHING

...Rick Astley sings The Smiths:


The funny thing is he actually mimics Morrissey quite well.

It's just you could chase me with his stuff back in the 80s.

Some of Rick Astley's other current-day hobbies apparently include covering The Sex Pistols and The Clash.

I'll now wait for him to do AC/DC.

By the way, I always laughed at the Rick Astley reference in this song:

Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Ulrich on October 13, 2021, 13:05:57
I don't care if Monday's blue, Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too, Thursday I don't care about you, it's...
(https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5515d234e4b0179c6ecae61f/1548142977721-GDGYCWVC8VZ0MJQYH9U3/Fried+Egg+I%27m+in+Love+2+%281+of+7%29.jpg?format=500w)

 :lol:  :winking_tongue   :beaming-face
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 13, 2021, 13:47:28
Do any of you spoonerise recreationally? If so, you might be able to relate to this. We're making calzones tonight (foldover pizzas) and I asked Brett is he wanted to "mush the washrooms"!  :beaming-face
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Matti on October 13, 2021, 14:06:27
Spoonerisms? I love them, especially when I'm doing cunning stunts.

(SCNR. And yes, I was a bit into Metallica during the 90s.)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 13, 2021, 14:17:43
So, @Matti, have you ever plucked a pheasant?  :winking_tongue

(This is old, and a slight twist on "pheasant-plucking" - but you're German!  :angel)
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: Pongo on October 13, 2021, 14:39:50
Doing and have done spoonerisms with my friends for as long as I can remember. We still text each other when we are coming up with good ones. Mostly in Swedish obviously. My father was doing it a lot when I was growing up.

I once used a spoonerism when doing some renovation with my girlfriend and she was using the drill the wrong way and I told her she had to turn the bit.
Title: Re: Insane Entertainment Especially For Cure Fans
Post by: SueC on October 13, 2021, 14:41:29
Bwahaha!  :beaming-face

We had a notorious politician in Australia by the name of Barry O'Farrell, and we had a field day with that one!  :winking_tongue

And then we had a friend over, and found he'd already spoonerised that one himself too! :cool

The politician in question did rather resemble a barrel in real life, as well. :lol:

...by the way, when I asked Brett if he wanted to mush the washrooms the other day, he immediately went to the utensils drawer looking for the "musher" and emerged with the potato masher, then pretended to head down the corridor to a "washroom"... :lol: