Design a terrible piece of Cure merchandise

Started by SueC, February 02, 2020, 02:30:11

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SueC

Roger O'Donnell Edition Tambourine

For playing along to all the Cure tracks not featuring keyboards.



Available in economical bulk packs for school music programmes.
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Ulrich

I'm sure Roger will love this, if he ever gets to see it (maybe he'd buy one)!  :lol:
 XD
And the way the rain comes down hard
that's how I feel inside...

SueC

Maybe he wouldn't drop that one on the floor... ;)  :beaming-face   :angel
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SueC

Beating Ignorance Is The Cure COVID-19 Kit

Item 1 of 5

Be a caring member of your community.  Don't be a selfish swine taking more than your fair share of basic resources.  Other people have needs too.



Remember, your IQ is 150 minus the number of rolls of toilet paper at your house.


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Wash your hands, people!  Soap and water are just as effective as fancy handwashes and sanitisers if you do it properly.



Don't touch your face unless your hands are properly clean.  Especially, don't touch your eyes or lips or pick your nose or stick fingers in your mouth or bite your fingernails, unless you have washed your hands thoroughly beforehand (and not re-contaminated yourself from a dirty tap etc).  This is hard to do unless we practice lots and are mindful, because we involuntarily do this loads of times otherwise.  This is why some people who aren't coughing or sneezing wear surgical masks anyway - not because ordinary surgical masks protect you properly from aerosolised pathogens (they are better at protecting bystanders from bugs you might sneeze out or cough up), but because it helps people stop absent-mindedly touching their mouths and noses.

Tutorials on effective hand-washing are available on YouTube.  20 seconds minimum is generally recommended (not 17 Seconds, I'm sorry to say) - and wash them as if you've just chopped jalapenos and are planning on putting in some contact lenses next.

Find a little song to sing, time where you get to in 20 seconds, and sing that part every time you wash your hands if necessary.  For example, the first four lines of Summertime should be sufficient.

Summertime, and the living is easy
Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high
Oh, your daddy's rich, and your mama's good-looking
So, hush, little baby, don't you cry



Item 3 of 5

Watch this space!  We know what's coming, but it takes time to do the graphics!

PS:  We know this is naughty, but we also did this with affection.  :)
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SueC

Item 3 of 5

Because wearing a mask should be fun!



This one is a dual-purpose mask serving both latter-day Cure fans and earlier-day Bowie fans.
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SueC

Item 4 of 5



(Brett is on annual leave and got creative today.)
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SueC

Item 5 of 5

Social Distancing with Simon

Are you fed up with the people who aren't taking this pandemic seriously, and who don't care if they spread their germs all over you?  Let Simon help you with social distancing.




Option 1:  A Texas Longhorn cow is a valuable aid to social distancing.  Horn spans frequently exceed 2 metres.  If you take one of these on your walks around town or country, nobody is going to barge into you, or come within coughing distance of where you are breathing.  And while Texas Longhorns are not a dairy breed, they can easily supply enough milk for your household on top of raising their own calf, reducing the necessity for shopping trips into potentially virus-laden indoors spaces.

Option 2:  If you live in an apartment, you may not have the space for a Texas Longhorn cow, so why not buy a specially made, completely solid replica bass guitar in signature pink.  While you can't play music on it, it still looks pretty cool, and has been especially designed for standing up to repeated impacts if necessary.  Replica bass guitar plus average arm length exceeds 2 metres, so if you spin around holding it by the tuning peg end, you should be able to maintain the currently recommended social distancing space around you (or clear a sufficient space if necessary).
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Ulrich

Nice one! XD  :lol:

In those days before "social distancing", I did not like when people were standing right behind me in a row at the post office, so sometimes I'd hold my parcel to the side of me and stand in a way so that they could not move too close to me.  :P
And the way the rain comes down hard
that's how I feel inside...

SueC

Ah, @Ulrich, when I went on a working holiday to London in the 90s I was really taken aback at the propensity of the local population to push you off the sidewalk and potentially into the traffic when the streets were crowded, so I went and bought myself an umbrella with a very shiny, very pointy spike on the front, and then carried it under my arm with the spiky end half a metre in front of me, and never had trouble with anyone crowding my space again!  :lol:

I really had to laugh when I saw Brett's picture last night of Mr Gallup and the cows... I'd said, "We've got to get this wrapped up and finally do the final part, if we can't do the electric tutu idea or a cattle prod or something, would it be possible for you just to put Simon Gallup next to a Texas Longhorn for me?"  So he did.  :rofl  And he was like, "I don't know why you're laughing, why is this funny?  How is this merchandise?"  I said, "Let me see what I can do with the text."  :lol:

It was very lucky for me that the bass was there as well, that was just coincidence, and it was the wrong colour for my next idea so Brett changed the colour, which he said would probably really take aback Mr Gallup if he ever saw this photo, "Whaaaat have they done to my guitar???"  :lol:

Many Photoshop jobs are pretty obvious, but Brett actually made Mr Gallup look incredibly at home in that field of cows.  :angel  In the source photo, he was leaning up against his mountain bike, so Brett cut him out and propped him up against the cow.  :lol:  He said he did a bit of a shadow effect in the right places to make it believable.  I was called upon to try to hand draw the line for the lead rope with the mouse, because that's hard to do - so I sat there drawing and hitting "undo" a dozen times until it didn't look too wonky.  Brett added the nose ring and did the rope effect, which really blew me away - it's so realistic.  He gave me a long technical explanation of what tricks he used to do that, but it was complicated...

(Brett also said he was toying with writing "BAD WOLF" on the cow, but decided that was too much work to do convincingly and it was too late at night to try.)

It was so tempting when writing the text to repeatedly say, "Simon says..." but I exercised restraint.  :angel  Likewise, I had to stop myself from explaining that this was Simon Gallup with his personal herd of Texas Longhorns, the breeding and curating of which was an esoteric hobby of his.  You get all sorts of story ideas when confronted with an image like this...  :yum:

PS:  Brett sends this link for a laugh:  https://brucesterling.tumblr.com/post/635591614192107520/il-troll-di-photoshop
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