Author Topic: Does "true love" exists?  (Read 6654 times)

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Offline japanesebaby

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Does "true love" exists?
« on: May 21, 2009, 08:33:57 »
well i think the truth is "that no-one ever knows or loves another." 
it's not so scary when you already know that to be true anyway.

Well spoken. I like to think of me as a true romantic person that sometimes maybe walks with dreams never ment to come true. But I know that love is out there somewhere. Just gotta find it.

actually i meant that quite literally, that noone ever really loves another, really.
i'm not a "anti-romantic" person myself either, but i still don't believe there's such a thing as "the right one" or "one true love" out there. i don't think it's true. there are simply more or less good matches. mostly less. mostly a lot less. sometimes we meet a bit better match and we might start thinking "this is it". but is it really that or is it just us in love with ourselves and our feeling of being in love?  loving that feeling makes us think we're in love with someone else. it's about illusions. and our society keeps those illusions up, by romanticizing everything. we're being bombarded by ideas of one true love all the time. go back in time 100 years and it's not there. go back in time 200 years, 300 years and so on. in a way the idea of one true love is a rather modern-day invention. and as such it's perhaps just one more thing in the long serious of things that we somehow must achieve in this world, just like good job, money, wealth, status, youth, physical beauty, fitness etc. it's sad that it's become like that, we've become slaves to that belief, just like we've become slaves to money and entertainment.

the only pure and unconditional love is perhaps the love between a parent and a child, although even that never isn't without some grief and problems too and too often it's not there even if it should be. but at its best it's the only pure and most unconditional love there probably can be. 
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Offline fiction

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Does the "true love" exists?
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2009, 10:18:24 »
actually i meant that quite literally, that noone ever really loves another, really.
i'm not a "anti-romantic" person myself either, but i still don't believe there's such a thing as "the right one" or "one true love" out there. i don't think it's true. there are simply more or less good matches. mostly less. mostly a lot less. sometimes we meet a bit better match and we might start thinking "this is it". but is it really that or is it just us in love with ourselves and our feeling of being in love?  loving that feeling makes us think we're in love with someone else. it's about illusions. and our society keeps those illusions up, by romanticizing everything. we're being bombarded by ideas of one true love all the time. go back in time 100 years and it's not there. go back in time 200 years, 300 years and so on. in a way the idea of one true love is a rather modern-day invention. and as such it's perhaps just one more thing in the long serious of things that we somehow must achieve in this world, just like good job, money, wealth, status, youth, physical beauty, fitness etc. it's sad that it's become like that, we've become slaves to that belief, just like we've become slaves to money and entertainment.

Well this has maybe got out of topic but I feel the urge of reply to what You wrote anyway.

Knowing that life, including human life, is nothing more than perfect combinations of different atoms and molecules and that feelings, including love, whitin those forms of life are nothing more than electric and chemical impulses that we don´t really have the ability to fully control, I can agree to that true love, or maybe love at all, don´t rally exist.

But since most human beeings accept and embrace the given form of life most people intend to try and live it as good and nice as they can. Of course there are hundreds of perimeters that decides the type of quality in your life. Money, health, work and democracy are some of them. I´m not going to stretch this preludium any longer, I just want You to know my point of wiev in the matter.

Anyway, what I want to say is that if you just accept life as it is (good or bad, rich or poor) and don´t think too much about those atoms and molecules you can deal with love and either believe in it or not. I choose to believe in it but I can agree with You that this term "true love" is somewhat a dream of utopia. I thought that I was there a couple times but for different reasons, often out of my control, I´ve taken part in a process that slowly undermind the building of that very same love. The feelings (chemical or not) afterward is not always easy to handle or just lay off. Comparing those relations to other more shallow affairs that do not set free those huge storms of emotion makes a difference for me.

But, beeing a romantic goof, I do believe that you can find true love (remember that true love may or may not mean the same thing to different people, it´s just a use of semantic) again somewhere with another person. For me it´s impossible to imagine sex without beeing in love, I just don´t feel like it if I don´t really love (from my point of wiev what love is) the other person.

In some way I do agree with You when You say that true love is a modern invention but I think that, and maybe that´s what You mean to, it has to do with the way we live our lives novadays. More leisure and sparetime, more selfishness and as You say, an urge to collect the things that we oughta have; Jobs, money, house, nice car, true love (family).

But I think that true love has been a pursuit for more than a hundred years. You just have to read some texts by Keats, Byron, Shelley or deQuincy to realise that this has been a hunt for a long time. Okay, I´m fully awear of the fact that those gentlemen were both poets and addicts an that they did no hard labour to survive and that not every human beeing in the world red their poems, but anyway...

CLT: Red Kross - Love is All

again and again and again and again and again and...

Online dsanchez

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Re: Does the "true love" exists?
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2009, 12:56:04 »
I mostly agree with baby's view. Most of the times you find a person who "match well with you". And then this person can become your partner, sometimes life partner.

But think for example on the lines of "this is a lie":

How each of us denies any other way in the world
Why each of us must choose
I've never understood
One special friend
One true love
Why each of us must lose everyone else in the world


Sometimes people will meet someone else and probably will fall in love, maybe even love, and they won't leave their partner and their lifes because of the commitements they made, the promises they did; even if their thoughts are already in this another person.

I just saw recently this movie, "The bridges of Madison County". She's (Meryl Streep) a married woman with two kids, who meet this guy (Clean Eastwood), whom she really feel a really special connection, something she didn't feel in years. However she decided to stay with the husband, specially for the kids.

From the point of view "rational", it seems she did the right thing. In the other hand, she denied what could have been even a better relationship she had (this fits very well in The Cure's "this is a lie" song, right?), a new experience, something she might will regret her whole life "how it could have been?"

This is (almost) the final scene of the movie. She is with the husband in the car and she her love throught the window. She thinks for a moment to run out off the car and go and dissapear with him. But the rational side...

Strangers passing in the street, by chance two separate glances meet and I am you and what I see is me...

Offline japanesebaby

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2009, 13:47:50 »
I mostly agree with baby's view. Most of the times you find a person who "match well with you". And then this person can become your partner, sometimes life partner.

actually i meant that most times you meet people who do not match well with you, not people who do. and even when you think they match well with you and you even think you're in love, you're actually in love with your own feeling of being in love or simply in love with yourself. ironically it's all very selfish, in the end. but people deny it because they don't want to hear about such things, they want to stick to their illusion of happiness and their idea of themselves being all pure of heart and true both to themselves and to their partner.
there is no such thing as "true love".

*edit: about poets like keats, byron etc. - exactly, they didn't have to worry about their survival so they had time to be idle and fantasize about various things, like passionate "true" love and so on. it has always been like that. the just like the famous troubadours of middle ages were noble knights who, after the crusades were over, had nothing to do in their castles and in their idleness they started to write songs and poems about chivalrous knights and lovely maidens. at the same time people slaving in their fields didn't have that kind of luxury.
so it's always been the same... 
Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran shrine

Offline Lady

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2009, 16:48:16 »
Some explanations are too negative I think.
I can express my personal opinion about this: I think you're really in love when you are ready to give up on something important just beacuse you wanna make your lover happy....love is the pleasure to belong exclusively to another person, love is when you can't imagine your life without him...
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Offline Trust...

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2009, 21:24:57 »
I think you're really in love when you are ready to give up on something important just beacuse you wanna make your lover happy....


Yes, that's true ... in the beginning, but I think true love is that you support your partner at every moment in the relationship. I thought for a long time the same, as long my lover is happy, so do I.
But after 12 years of relationship I think that it is very important to do what you really want, even if your partner isn't agree in the beginning, if he/she really loves you, he or she won't ask you to give up things where you belief or loves in.
He / she can understand. And then I belief true love excist  :D

Vanilla smile and a gorgeous strawberry kiss x

Offline Lady

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2009, 21:53:36 »
I think you're really in love when you are ready to give up on something important just beacuse you wanna make your lover happy....


Yes, that's true ... in the beginning, but I think true love is that you support your partner at every moment in the relationship. I thought for a long time the same, as long my lover is happy, so do I.
But after 12 years of relationship I think that it is very important to do what you really want, even if your partner isn't agree in the beginning, if he/she really loves you, he or she won't ask you to give up things where you belief or loves in.
He / she can understand. And then I belief true love excist  :D

I agree with you. :smth023
Anyway we have being together for 10 years and also today we feel happy if the other one is happy,too. :D
And of course, you don't have to give up on your personality for this happiness, we carry on doing what we like (we are different in many aspects!  :-D ) and we respect each other's ideas...it has been always like this, even at the beginning, but if there's something that my bf dislikes in me or viceversa, we try to find a "solution" that could be ok for the both of us....I think this is the true love! ;)
I BELONG TO THE CURE!♥
Lost forever in a happy crowd!
I will kiss you forever on nights like this, I will kiss you, I will kiss you...and we shall be together...
CUREFANS.COM RULEZ!:D

Online dsanchez

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2009, 14:03:25 »
Interesting speech about "romantic love"

Strangers passing in the street, by chance two separate glances meet and I am you and what I see is me...

Offline japanesebaby

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2009, 16:10:34 »
Interesting speech about "romantic love"

interesting, how she said that when people are in love, the part of their brain that is activated is the same that gets activated when people take cocaine. and then how she said "it's not an emotion, it's a drive."
it must be true, people always mistake love as an emotion (and will stick to that misunderstanding, not because it was true but because they simply like the idea of it) but it's just chemicals at work there.
darwin was right....

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Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran shrine

Offline Hero

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2009, 07:21:28 »
Some of these views are very interesting.
Personally i don't believe in 'True Love' but perhaps that it is more of a chemical thing like fiction said. I think that maybe love is just a human word for attraction like in science when gravitational, electric or magnetic forces are drawn together and sometimes people are drawn together and offer love but i think that ultimately its for selfish reasons such as: to feel loved in return so that the world doesnt feel as lonely as it really is or even making scarifices to make a lover happy ulitmately makes you happy in return thus being selfish.
I don't think that 'the one' exists, i'm not against the idea of love i just don't think that their is a right person or a wrong person to be with.
You know, only 3% of the worlds mammals 'mate for life' (monogamous pairing) and humans arent one of them. But that might be off topic...(I'm wrighting a biology assignment right now :( )
Here's a good quote from Skins which pretty much sums up my view of love "Love is, like, really important. It's good to be loved. Even if it's only for one night."
Maybe is all just about sex after all :?
But i'm only 19 so what do i really know about love. Maybe i'm just feeling slightly bitter   :smth011

Online dsanchez

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2009, 11:53:55 »
You know, only 3% of the worlds mammals 'mate for life' (monogamous pairing) and humans arent one of them. But that might be off topic...(I'm wrighting a biology assignment right now :( )

not too off topic, interesting that you mention it, thought

http://www.trinity.edu/rnadeau/fys/barash%20on%20monogamy.htm
Strangers passing in the street, by chance two separate glances meet and I am you and what I see is me...


Offline derektrainwreck

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #11 on: June 12, 2009, 19:13:49 »
i had true love,

but i lost it.

i hope it comes back someday.

love is death in my eyes.

Offline japanesebaby

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2009, 19:51:35 »
love is death in my eyes.

it is about losing your free will because of a heavy chemical unbalance in your brain - might actually turn out to be literally lethal, in some cases.


@Hero: i really liked what you wrote. no need to say "what do i really know" at all, imo. 
Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran shrine

Offline fiction

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2009, 00:07:30 »


I was reading in a history book before the seventh war

They used to have a thing that they called love
that we don't have any more
I don't know the feeling
but I'm told it was an evil thing

It used to make you crazy and fall down
no one knows what it could bring.
Loves makes you crazy
loves makes you cry.
Love made them crazy in days gone by.
Loves makes you crazy - that's what they say:
Loves made them crazy in the olden days.
I must have seized the body and the mind like strong disease

Another plague that science has erased even from the memory.
Or maybe evolution wiped it out
so just the strong survived.
And no-one with that feeling could exist
in the race to stay alive.
Love makes you crazy
love makes you cry. . . .
Love makes you crazy
love makes you cry. . .

Love Makes You Crazy
/Mike Batt
again and again and again and again and again and...

Online MeltingMan

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Re: Does "true love" exists?
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2015, 14:58:07 »
Well,I think that unhappiness is a feature of 'true love'.
When I was younger I couldn't understand that.I remember
a church rooms building in my hometown with a slab above
the entry and the bible words:"G*d is love" and I thought
to myself: if G*d is love, why are so many people unhappy
because of love, considering that we're not talking about
sexual attraction and relationship either!?
True love is a miracle, a mystery which doesn't reconstruct
to everyone, unfortunately.
Wenn das Spätjahr kommt, werf ich mich in einen
Wagen, ziehe die Decke des Wagenleders hoch zu
meinem Kopf, hülle mich in einen Mantel - so daß nur
meine Augen übrig bleiben, mit denen nach Euch ich
greife.
(Sören Kierkegaard)


 

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