Bit like the keyboard melody in The Walk then
no, i think the melody in 'the walk' is actually a pretty good musical invention - and this regardless of whether or not one liked the song. the melody in 'the walk' is based on a clearly defined idea that's clearly directed somewhere. yes it might be very short but still musically it's "going somewhere". and it has a rhythmic spine that carries it onwards - now where's that on 'kyoto song'? uh, there is none... *blush*
'kyoto song' is just clumsy what comes to the overall structture of the melody/compositional use of the melodic motives:
at first it's stuck within a range of a perfect fifth, repeating one idea, then repeating the second idea that's even more narrow registrally... and there, at the very last moment possible to save it, instead of finally offering us some catch, some proof of "why we even bothered this far", what was all that opening stuff trying to take us... then it just completely fails us by making a pointless return to the oepning motive!! that's just a silly decision altogether, there's no point in the whole thing then.
anyway, i tink it was pretty much dead from the start anyway. the opening motives are too symmetric both melodically and rhyhtmically, it gets framented and cannot ever build a melodic arch that it's pretending it's doing.
' the walk' - good work!
'kyoto song' -