DIY The Cure Lamentation / Exultation Kits!

[SueC]

You should by now have heard of the Shakespeare Insult Kit – the handy, Great Bard-quoting triplicate insult generator to really express your irateness properly, and describe the object of your consternation to a T.  Haven't tried it?  You haven't lived.  It's here:

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html

Why use tired, boring old cliches such as, "You idiot!" or "Stupid fuckwit!"    when you could be saying, "Thou besmirched, pox-addled clodhopper!  Thou blubbering, mealy-mouthed codpiece!"     

In the spirit of this, I invite you all to help develop two more handy kits for expressing your feelings more fully while encouraging creative thinking:
The Cure Lamentation / Exultation Kits.

You will need:

● One shoebox painted blue (etc)
● One shoebox painted pink (etc)
● Several dozen small flat magnets for making your own fridge magnets (available online)
● Pieces of decorative cardboard (colour-coded if you wish – e.g. blue for blue, pink for happy)
● Means of writing on cardboard – e.g. arty pen, calligraphy pen dipped in ink / your own blood
   / someone else's blood if they've been troubling you all week
● A good amount of clear space on the outside of your refrigerator
● Suitable lines from lyrics by The Cure (you could utilise other bands, but it wouldn't be as good )

...and it's with this last bit that we could all work together online – submit your favourite sad lines / happy lines from Cure lyrics!


Next...

Write the snippets that appeal to you on pieces of cardboard, glue a little magnet each to the backs, and drop in the "sad" and "happy" boxes as appropriate.

Lamination of the cardboard snippets is recommended if you have a tendency to burst into tears when contemplating poetry. 


How to use

When you are in either a properly lamenting or a gaily exulting mood, enhance your experience by grabbing the appropriate box, taking random snippets from it, and arranging and re-arranging those on the refrigerator until you feel that the selection and their order adequately expresses your mood. 

Should you accidentally make a limerick, ode, sonnet, or pastoral elegy, you get extra points.

If your feelings are mixed or in some way edgy, you may wish to experiment with selections from both boxes simultaneously.  In that case, it's a good idea to have your cardboard colour-coordinated to be able to efficiently return the snippets to their appropriate boxes for storage.

If none of this adequately expresses your mood, and adding new lyric snippets doesn't remedy the situation, you will unfortunately have to become a poet yourself.


Example Sad Lines (please post additions):

it doesn't matter if we all die

"I think I'm old and I'm feeling the pain" you said

I'm running out of time

looking for the victim shivering in bed

I'll never lose this pain

it's so cold it's like the cold if you were dead



Example Happy Lines (please post more suggestions):


I'm so happy I could scream

we should have each other with cream

let's get happy

I'll run away with you

you might really love it

I'll eat you all up




PS:  If you want a more sideways sort of related fun, here's an example of something else cool to do.  Do read Wordsworth's lovely and famous Daffodils first if you've never had the pleasure!  Then you can fully appreciate the following critique of living in a soulless consumer society, and reflect on the postmodernist approach to art, while perhaps plotting your very own poem-antipoem collage... (and if you do one, please make us all happy and share your creations! )


The New, Fast, Automatic Daffodils

by Adrian Henri

I wandered lonely as
THE NEW, FAST DAFFODIL
   FULLY AUTOMATIC
that floats on high o'er vales and hills
The  Daffodil  is  generously  dimensioned  to  accommodate
  four  adult  passengers
10,000 saw I at a glance
Nodding their new anatomically shaped heads in sprightly dance
Beside the lake beneath the trees in three bright modern colours
red, blue and pigskin
The Daffodil de luxe is equipped with a host of useful accessories
including windscreen wiper and washer with joint control
A Daffodil doubles the enjoyment of touring at home or abroad
in vacant or in pensive mood

SPECIFICATION:
   Overall width  1.44m (57")
   Overall height 1.38m (54.3")
   Max.speed      105km/h (65 mph)
     (also cruising speed)

DAFFODIL
   RELIABLE-ECONOMICAL
DAFFODIL
   THE BLISS OF SOLITUDE
DAFFODIL
   The Variomatic Inward Eye
Travelling by Daffodil you can relax and enjoy every mile of the journey.

(Cut-up of Wordsworth's poem plus Dutch motor-car leaflet.)


Have fun!