What made you annoyed today?

Started by Aarna, July 01, 2007, 19:59:54

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ROGUE

Iam missing someone too- luvUrobert  :smth058

Annoyed from lack of sleep- :smth064  and possum enclosure and play area (other than house-as she frightened of outside)... Is
taking too long to get built., finally found someone willing to do it, and CANT wait-
Should be exciting for her and then me.

I love making toys for kittens, and in this instant a possum- :smth032  but i love it, so cute fun, when you see them happy.
A simple thing and makes my day, like a cardboard box makes their day, after working on another toy- they choose a box...
but fun anyways.


Carnage Visor

Every day when I wake up I dread being alive. I wish I could stay dreaming forever, but then I'm up and have to face the sickening reality and be forced into the torture chamber of a school to be ridiculed and ignored like some kind of pest. Then I have the displeasure of knowing just how ugly I am on the outside and inside.

Noone understands me when I speak my mind, they try to put words in my mouth, try to dictate my every thought as if they know what I'm thinking, like I'm some kind of predictable being with pre-programmed thoughts. They think they know what's going on inside my head, and they won't even listen to me when I correct them.

Then there's the outside world, who view me as some kind of disgusting eyesore as I walk past, I hear them whispering, I see them staring and giving me the evil eye. God forbid I f*ck up their Barbie-doll lifestyle and clear-cut grass by steering from the norm. Those polo-shirted rich bitches and their beautiful children, always laughing and smiling like happy little puppets...ugh...

Everyone keeps asking me to change. They say the reason I'm not liked is because I won't change. They want me to look a certain way, act a certain way. I'm not even sure I have it in me to change, when I am so uncomfortable with who I am as it is.

And if that wasn't enough, my emotions are overlooked, like so many of The Cure's songs are by the general public...when I'm sad, nobody cares. Only when a kid at school threatens to cut themselves or starts bawling do they respond.

I'm so depressed I can't even cry, I just don't have the strength to waste energy on tears that are almost invisible. Last time I cried, someone told me to shut up. They said I "just wanted attention"...Instead I go blank, I show nothing. Because that's what I am to many people. Nothing. Nobody.

Just a kid, just an ugly, badly dressed kid who wanders around aimlessly, hands in pockets, head gazing at my own shoes...I only go out now to get drinks from the corner store, and then it's back home, where I hide inside my house and wish I had it better.

I'm sorry, everyone. I'm very depressed lately. Very depressed. It doesn't help that nobody on my other forums ever tries to help or even respond to my posts. But you guys are different.

I must sound like a total crybaby...but you try sitting alone all day, watching other teens around you party, make out, go cruising around, join bands and clubs, learn to drive, get a job...while all I have is my computer.

I hope somebody out there reading this can understand my pain. :cry:

Hero


psichonaut

Thanks my Lord....i'm unbeliever

silversand

Oh dear, i'm sorry that you're depressed Carnage Visor  :(
I've seen your picture here in the Gallery and you don't look ugly at all. You look very good.
You're a nice teenager. I really mean it.
If you like to dress how you want - do it. Don't care about what other people say.
You have you're own style that's all. And please don't say your a nobody, you are someone important.
Everyone is important.

I can understand you very good, because i've felt the same when i was a teenager.
I mean that i thought i look not very good.

Hope the songs of the Cure will help you that you're feel better  :).
Because i wish that you're not depressed anymore  :smth001


Carnage Visor

Quote from: silversand on October 21, 2007, 01:22:45
Because i wish that you're not depressed anymore  :smth001

Me too, and thank you so much for such kind thoughts. I need to know for sure that people are listening out there. You're really nice, and I hope you know that little comment lightened my mood alot.
Because often it feels like I am alone...and will be alone for a long time.

I don't know what those scores were "15-1", but it kind of proved my point...hehe, I guess some people cannot tolerate my sadness as much as others, but kudos to you silversand for the kind words! :)

silversand

#261
You're welcome :) I'm glad you feel a little bit better Carnage Visor :)


Carnage Visor you're not alone, we are always here for you, okay :)
You know Cure Fans are different and different is good :D





PS: Maybe those scores are the result of a football match, but i'm not sure about it.

Edit: Now i know it. It is the result of the Rugby match England vs South Africa.

boneheadhaggar

hey Carnage Visor, remember you are never alone on this forum, I really hope you can work out your troubles and find true friendship and happiness soon, but dont let the behaviour of other people dictate the way you dress/act, just be true to yourself and try and stay positive ;)
its nice to be nice

Cure Freak

Like scatcat. I'm missing someone.
LDR

Carnage Visor

Quote from: Cure Freak on October 22, 2007, 00:29:12
Like scatcat. I'm missing someone.
LDR

Amen, I'm with you there...

Siouxsie_

Carnage Visor, I'm sure that a lot of people on this site feel or have felt the same way. I have been in the same situation as you, and I'm very sorry that you're experiencing such severe depression. :( I hope that you feel better soon. Is there anyone in real life that you can talk to about your feelings? Are you seeing a psychiatrist?

ROGUE

What made me annoyed today....

my front garden has been dead for ages, and i purposely let the grass go mad, because i know it pisses my neighbors off,
but the dogs love to eat it, aswell, and i hate people telling me to cut it..like my dad, and friend- who has heaps of money
and clean car, and all that stuff. Which is good for him, but maybe if i could afford to pay everyone to do everything...

Anyway, got some trees removed, now it is a dead patch of earth, like an evil being cursed it.. :evil: or something, but i am happy
iam going to plant my native plants, so i wont have to worry about it anymore, hopefully they are kill proof.

But in the meantime, i walked out the back, in the dark and tripped over some thick wire mesh, tried to step over it, and
got dragged down like a bucket of shi by my pants, and cut my knee open, and bruised, i just lay there for awhile in agony..... :smth089

Guess the garden will have to wait.   I was happy to be doing it, for myself, and the birds, etc.
Now immobilized. :(  could be worse. . . .

p.s. Thanx Silversand from awhile back, being cool and nice to me.   :smth023

p.s.s. wish everyone well and to have better days.  :rocker  and liked what BoneHeadhaggar said  :smth045

silversand

You're welcome ROGUE :)

To graze your knee is not funny at all, that must hurt, poor girl  :(
I hope your wound on your knee will get away very soon ROGUE  :)

psichonaut

I delete in error from my PC the complete album of the Sisters of Mercy "Enters the Sisters" and now i haven't it on cd :smth011
Thanks my Lord....i'm unbeliever

boneheadhaggar

its nice to be nice