September 16, 2019, 14:11:38

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Something else / Re: What's On Your Mind Atm??
Last post by MeltingMan - Today at 10:35:50
Quote from: SueCHave you heard of sky burial, as done in the Himalayas?

Certainly Buddhist monks do that, right? Everything is possible today. If you want, you can also shoot your ashes into space. But I think Cure fans do not need that. 😉

Quote from: SueCare you feeling better now?

Thanks. I'm fine. 😌
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Something else / Re: Hugging Day
Last post by SueC - Today at 00:31:15
@word_on_a_wing, you live in Melbourne, right?  Did you grow up there?  You guys have the biggest proportion of "hug culture" immigrants in Australia, I'd love to know if your experience is more huggy than ours out West! :)  How do Melburnian men compare?

I worked in Portland for a while, but not in Melbourne - and Portland was very Anglo.

Tasmaniacs are very Anglo-dominated - from living there for a while!
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Something else / Re: What's On Your Mind Atm??
Last post by SueC - Today at 00:22:58
Quote from: MeltingMan on September 15, 2019, 16:15:24Yes, I agree. They look like little mannequins, and that on purpose. And yet the clothing industry has "measured" men and women again.

What I find really interesting is that Barbies, and the preferred use in contemporary modelling of women who tend more towards a Barbie shape (although that's a completely exaggerated shape and no living woman is like that, and those proportions would look deformed on a live woman), really influence body dysmorphia in girls and young women, and yet when I worked with teenagers on body image, and asked boys to comment / vote with hands up, the vast majority of them said they preferred "normal" girls to what they saw in magazines:  "Not like sticks!  And not so airbrushed!"  And this really pleasantly surprised the girls, who then really relaxed, and it got such lovely conversations going between the boys and girls.  :)


QuoteI would say that countries like Thailand or even Mexico are more attentive to their dead. In Germany the funeral system is subject to a radical change. Mainly because earth burials are too expensive, etc. This old tradition, on the other hand, is remarkable and respectful.

Yeah, in Western countries it's often "let's put them out of sight, out of mind" and quite sanitised as well.  Some indigenous Australian tribes put their dead on platforms high in trees, away from dingoes, but our native insects are pretty good at reducing dead bodies to bone quickly - less than six weeks in warm weather to get a horse or cow down to a skeleton (no dingoes now in many agricultural areas, and no vultures either).  So the native people with this custom then retrieved the clean bones, and buried them.  It's possible that this practice is in part related to the nutrient poverty of Australian soils - doing an "open" burial initially recycles the nutrients in the body more effectively into the ecosystem, than burying underground will, even a shallow earth burial (not to mention a deep burial in a casket).  So, this is better nutrient recycling, which promoted ecosystem health, which is what hunter-gatherers very much depended on for their next meal.

Have you heard of sky burial, as done in the Himalayas?


Quote
Quote from: SueCSo, I decided to remove her disease with scissors.

😬😶

I'm sorry, are you feeling better now?  :)
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Something else / Re: Hugging Day
Last post by dsanchez - September 15, 2019, 23:34:05
Quote from: SueC on September 15, 2019, 23:19:39Your disbelief suggests things are different in your culture and you've not been to Australia! :)

I have lived in 6 different countries and the list I quoted was valid in all of them: Peru, Belgium, Portugal, France, Spain and Slovakia. Really very weird that it does not happen in Australia, I thought the only people trying to keep distance were the Japanese.
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Something else / Re: Hugging Day
Last post by SueC - September 15, 2019, 23:19:39
Your disbelief suggests things are different in your culture and you've not been to Australia! :)

In Australia, the most observable reason for men hugging remains sport - something I point out to them a lot to get them to think about it, and get interesting feedback from.  Mainstream Anglo background Australian males may not even hug at weddings, graduations, etc - some do, but many don't.  Australian males from Middle Eastern and Mediterranean backgrounds, conversely, are generally huggers both of women and other men, for all sorts of reasons, which is nice!  There are large Middle Eastern and Mediterranean immigrant populations in Sydney and Melbourne, so these guys don't generally get socialised out of hugging each other, but many learn not to hug Anglo men because of their discomfort with it.

When I was a high school student here, I never saw boys hugging each other, and had they tried it, they would have been accused by other boys of being homosexual - it was a very homophobic culture back then; thankfully that's improving. In over 15 years of teaching high schoolers, I never saw boys hug boys openly (not even over sport) - girls hugged all the time.  If I asked my classes about that, boys still said, "People will think I'm gay!" while girls thought boys were alien creatures from another planet.  Boys hugged girls if they could get away with it, but not each other.  Girls just hugged. I've mostly worked in Western Australia, which is a very Anglo-dominant culture, but this was also the case in the schools I taught at in Sydney, even though there were sizeable proportions of Middle Eastern / Mediterranean culture boys there - they weren't in the majority though, and they had learnt not to hug other boys at school for those same reasons.  But, if I went to a social function by Middle Eastern / Mediterranean families, there the men and boys hugged very freely, which was lovely. :)  I'm forever encouraging Anglos to follow suit, but they're very conditioned not to!  It's getting a little better with the younger generations there, but it's slow.

I'm married to an Anglo background man, and in his family, none of the males hugged other males.  They did hug their cats though!  At our wedding, the only man who went around hugging freely was from a Middle Eastern background; he was also the only guy apart from my own husband who came up and hugged me, that whole day!  Being female, and part-Italian at that, I went and hugged all and sundry; generally hugs aren't turned down if a bride offers (or women in general, although there are some people who simply don't like to hug, including females, and you can tell by the body language and don't impose when that happens).

Yesterday, on a hike, we randomly bumped into two good friends whom we'd not seen in over a year.  I hugged both of them, my husband hugged neither.  Mike is from NZ with links to very huggy and demonstrative Maori culture, and will immediately bear hug for all sorts of reasons, but could see the Anglo male present wasn't comfortable and didn't push it.

I met my husband's family half a year after we started going out with each other, and considering how stiff and don't-touch-me they were, including his mother (who took months to warm up to hugging and I had to be the one to offer), I asked him afterwards, "Don't you guys ever hug?"  and the answer was, "Rarely!"  It astonished me because he was very huggy with me, from the start, and is a lovely hugger too - he doesn't crush you, or just "air-hug" either, and he was the first to offer, when we were still just friends.  I said, "So what did you practice on?"  It was probably the cats - although he tells me he just had an innate ability waiting to come out.  :rofl  I ask him why he doesn't hug other people more often (he'll never hug men, including his male friends - I think for him to do that, they'd have to launch themselves at him sobbing after a death so then he couldn't refuse), and he says, "Icky!  No thanks, I'll just hug you."  Cultural conditioning...

As a kid coming from Europe, and especially from my time in Italy, I couldn't fail to notice this about mainstream Australia when I arrived.

Now @dsanchez, your list of "men may hug here" situations from your experience is encouraging, but still far removed from the extent of female hugging.  One day, perhaps, all men might hug as freely as women do, or Middle Easterners / Mediterranean cultures etc do... and not be restrained by their cultural gender conditioning... wouldn't that be nice? :)
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Other Artists / Re: Currently Listening to
Last post by dsanchez - September 15, 2019, 17:24:54
A rare song I discovered in a Brazilian album compilation. A must listen.

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Something else / Re: What's On Your Mind Atm??
Last post by MeltingMan - September 15, 2019, 16:15:24
Quote from: SueCBarbies generally are so unnatural(...)

Yes, I agree. They look like little mannequins, and that on purpose. And yet the clothing industry has "measured" men and women again.
I would say that countries like Thailand or even Mexico are more attentive to their dead. In Germany the funeral system is subject to a radical change. Mainly because earth burials are too expensive, etc. This old tradition, on the other hand, is remarkable and respectful.

Quote from: SueCSo, I decided to remove her disease with scissors.

😬😶
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Other Artists / Re: Currently Listening to
Last post by dsanchez - September 15, 2019, 16:12:08
Quote from: SueC on September 15, 2019, 03:17:21So much good music in the world... :heart-eyes

too bad in most places they play the shitiest music...

anyway, talking about great music:

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Something else / Re: Hugging Day
Last post by dsanchez - September 15, 2019, 14:57:11
Quote from: SueC on September 15, 2019, 14:12:15Would you two guys hug?  Or only if your football team won?  In Australia, men generally only hug if their sports teams win

I can't believe that. There are universal situations when people two men hug each other and I don't think these are exceptions in Australia?:

- birthdays
- wedding
- job promotion
- birth
- graduation
- seeing someone after long time, etc.
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Something else / Re: Happy today because....
Last post by SueC - September 15, 2019, 14:32:19
Super happy because...nice mountains exist in our local area!  And I didn't think I was going to die climbing this one last Sunday, which means my fitness must be improving.  A picture of Brett on the ridge, and of me on the summit.  In the background in the bottom photo is the mountain on which Brett proposed to me nearly 12 years ago; we'll be climbing it on November 2 to commemorate!





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