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What random act of kindness did you do today?

Started by dsanchez, April 22, 2018, 14:05:34

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dsanchez

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6O9DGE4LoX4

"A random act of kindness is a nonpremeditated, inconsistent action designed to offer kindness towards the outside world"

In the train station where I live there are no elevators (!) and this old lady had to carry a big suitcase through the stairs, so I helped her and told her I will take her suitcase to the next floor :)

So what random act of kindness did you do do today?
2019.06.08 Dublin
2019.07.04 Novi Sad
2019.07.17 Athens

MeltingMan

Well, the Advent is about to begin and I thought it's time for a donation.
I spent 100 EUR for the so-called "paradise organ". It's located in the Magdeburg
cathedral, the oldest one in German territory. That instrument was built and inaugurated
during the late Sixties and is now decomposing slowly. The cathedral has a new main organ
since 2008, so the public focus has shifted to the "problematic" organ. Case and pipes must be replaced,
because they used a wood preserver which is now forbidden, and the alloy for the pipes is of lower
quality. That organ was indeed no more than a temporary solution for many decades. The original
main organ was destroyed during WWII and political, financial and preservation aspects have delayed
the whole project. If you wish to receive further information, please contact me via PM.
Don Juan, malgré la pauvreté de la matière où il s'efforce, touche à l'Abstrait par une conception de la femme que ni l'Orient ni les modernes n'ont osé formuler.

TYPHONIA, XIᵉ roman de l'Ethopée

Ulrich

This morning I was outside shovelling snow (groan), one neighbour, an old lady, said hello from her garage.
Later today, I was out again trying to get rid of some slush in my driveway and on the pavement; a car passed by and stopped a bit down the road, a lady got out and then I realised she was trying to help that old lady (I'd met in the morning) back on her feet, as obviously she'd taken a fall on the pavement. I quickly ran down to help her, we got the old lady back on her feet. The younger woman went back to her car, we said "thank you" and then I helped the old lady through the snow to her door. (She won't ever go out again with this kind of weather, I hope! In the morning she'd gone to town to do some errands, somehow she managed to almost get back home, but here she fell...)

You spend years building up a reputation as a tough punkrocker and then you help an old lady and it's ruined within a day!  :winking_tongue
If only I'd thought of the right words...

chemicaloverload

Haha there will be a chap on your door, asking for your membership back
Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves

Ulrich

If only I'd thought of the right words...

dsanchez

Was drinking wine with a friend and there was a nice couple in a table next to us. They were having two drinks. I asked the waitress what's their bill and I payed it. Don't ask me why, just did it. They were puzzled and happy about the gesture.
2019.06.08 Dublin
2019.07.04 Novi Sad
2019.07.17 Athens

SueC

This is a great thread, and we should resurrect it!  :cool

The last post in this thread made me think about a story a neighbour told me many years ago.  She said when she was a student, she'd had to save up a while to have $50 so she could buy this nice winter coat she wanted.  She was on the bus with her $50 note on the way to the department store, when she got this voice in her head saying, "Give the $50 to the person behind you!"  My neighbour wasn't religious, nor did she think she was usually suffering from delusions, so she ignored this at first, but it kept repeating, until she said to it in her head, "OK dammit!  I'll give away my $50 and freeze for the rest of winter, and look like a complete idiot shoving money at a stranger!"  And she turned around and said to the young woman behind her, "Look, this is going to sound crazy, but I have a feeling I'm supposed to give you this!" and handed over the note.  The young woman burst into tears and said that was the amount she was short for her rent money and had been afraid she would be evicted.

Anyway, my random act of kindness today was to rescue an insect that would otherwise have drowned in a bucket.  I do this relatively frequently around the place, and have done it since childhood.  I'm probably not helping to improve insect species, since I keep rescuing the ones who don't know how not to fall into water...
SueC is time travelling

piggymirror

Quote from: SueC on November 23, 2019, 12:57:06This is a great thread, and we should resurrect it!  :cool

The last post in this thread made me think about a story a neighbour told me many years ago.  She said when she was a student, she'd had to save up a while to have $50 so she could buy this nice winter coat she wanted.  She was on the bus with her $50 note on the way to the department store, when she got this voice in her head saying, "Give the $50 to the person behind you!"  My neighbour wasn't religious, nor did she think she was usually suffering from delusions, so she ignored this at first, but it kept repeating, until she said to it in her head, "OK dammit!  I'll give away my $50 and freeze for the rest of winter, and look like a complete idiot shoving money at a stranger!"  And she turned around and said to the young woman behind her, "Look, this is going to sound crazy, but I have a feeling I'm supposed to give you this!" and handed over the note.  The young woman burst into tears and said that was the amount she was short for her rent money and had been afraid she would be evicted.

You're lucky, I suspect the last time this happened to me, the recipient of the €20 banknote was a junkie.

ps: in my case I heard no voices, I did it all by myself. Does this mean that to do it properly and not feel like an idiot afterwards, then I really need to hear voices in my head?

Quote from: SueC on November 23, 2019, 12:57:06Anyway, my random act of kindness today was to rescue an insect that would otherwise have drowned in a bucket.  I do this relatively frequently around the place, and have done it since childhood.  I'm probably not helping to improve insect species, since I keep rescuing the ones who don't know how not to fall into water...

I have had enough of committing random acts of kindness.

I want some sense back to my life in return.

Else, suicide.

This is a Cure fan forum after all.  :1f62d:

SueC

Quote from: piggymirror on January 11, 2020, 23:00:57
Quote from: SueC on November 23, 2019, 12:57:06This is a great thread, and we should resurrect it!  :cool

The last post in this thread made me think about a story a neighbour told me many years ago.  She said when she was a student, she'd had to save up a while to have $50 so she could buy this nice winter coat she wanted.  She was on the bus with her $50 note on the way to the department store, when she got this voice in her head saying, "Give the $50 to the person behind you!"  My neighbour wasn't religious, nor did she think she was usually suffering from delusions, so she ignored this at first, but it kept repeating, until she said to it in her head, "OK dammit!  I'll give away my $50 and freeze for the rest of winter, and look like a complete idiot shoving money at a stranger!"  And she turned around and said to the young woman behind her, "Look, this is going to sound crazy, but I have a feeling I'm supposed to give you this!" and handed over the note.  The young woman burst into tears and said that was the amount she was short for her rent money and had been afraid she would be evicted.

You're lucky, I suspect the last time this happened to me, the recipient of the €20 banknote was a junkie.

Well, I wasn't lucky, it was a story a friend told me, so maybe she was lucky! :)

I'm not in a habit of handing out bank notes to random people for the exact reason you're stating - statistically, they're likely to go towards substance abuse habits, not food and housing.  It's much better to donate to charities that work with the homeless and that won't be supporting any substance abuse habits, but instead provide food and shelter, and help to end substance abuse habits by providing some psychological support for the many traumatic experiences many of these people have had.

But what you can always give as you go out amongst other people is genuine smiles and courtesy and a recognition that they are human like you (but I don't recommend engaging this way with obviously rude people, bullies etc).


Quote from: piggymirror on January 11, 2020, 23:00:57ps: in my case I heard no voices, I did it all by myself. Does this mean that to do it properly and not feel like an idiot afterwards, then I really need to hear voices in my head?

I think my friend did feel like a bit of an idiot afterwards anyway - although also a little mollified.  And, she felt a bit cold that winter.  It's something she recounted many years after it happened, and she said nothing like that happened again, although she did say it got her wondering about intuition, and/or the possibility that there's "something" else that can kick in, but it didn't make her either religious or new-agey.  Anyway, it may be that we can read distress signals unconsciously in other people, even when they're not being obvious about it.  Since we are social animals, this would make sense - the non-verbal social animals are particularly good at reading other animals through body language and probably body biochemistry.

If you're feeling like an idiot afterwards, might it be that your act of intended kindness didn't line up neatly with your personal beliefs (e.g. knowing that cash often goes to substance abuse habits), or could this be that you were ridiculed for doing such things or talking about such things as a young person?  Because that often comes back to bite - feelings are complicated things.

And whatever the outcome of your intended kindness, if the recipient abused your kindness, that's a reflection on them and nothing for you to feel like an idiot about.  However, when one's kindness gets abused, it's also a good idea to think about doing things differently next time one is in such a situation, to avoid repeats - like for instance saying to yourself, "I still want to help, but not in a way that's going to backfire."  Like giving money to a charity instead, or if you don't have much money yourself, volunteering your time in places that support people who are struggling - like soup kitchens, homeless charities, or even training to go on phone helplines.  Above all, being a good friend to your friends (without being taken advantage of - now there's a trick!), and generally offering your friendship to people, by being friendly and showing respect.  Our society is dreadfully disconnected these days and has lots of problems as a result, but you can find ways to connect that are meaningful to yourself and others.  If you live in a crappy community, some of that connection can be online (social as well as helping others through various organisations), and it's always possible to leave and find greener pastures.  But, Western society isn't exactly easy to live in these days.

And some of my friends prefer animals to most people, and therefore volunteer at wildlife places and animal shelters!  :)  Volunteering that fits will make you feel better, on top of being helpful to things you care about.



Quote from: SueC on November 23, 2019, 12:57:06Anyway, my random act of kindness today was to rescue an insect that would otherwise have drowned in a bucket.  I do this relatively frequently around the place, and have done it since childhood.  I'm probably not helping to improve insect species, since I keep rescuing the ones who don't know how not to fall into water...

Quote from: piggymirror on January 11, 2020, 23:00:57I have had enough of committing random acts of kindness.

I want some sense back to my life in return.

Else, suicide.

It is very difficult these days when you're feeling isolated, and it's so easy to feel isolated, and be isolated, and also so easy to feel bad about yourself, especially if you're still young and you grew up with difficult families or with bullying at school because you were different.  And indeed, I know people 50+ who are still feeling the pain of all that early formative stuff - in some ways it doesn't totally go away, but it can be used as fuel for being the difference that you want to see, and it is possible (not easy, but definitely possible) to get to a point where you are enjoying your life and finding meaning in it, despite of these things.

Also, if you're feeling really low physically/mentally/emotionally, it's important to find a good GP to help with that, one you are comfortable with - perhaps one that specialises in mental/emotional health and is good at talking to people about that, and about the lifestyle factors that can be changed to help you feel better, as well as some of the short and medium-term medical support that is quite frequently helpful for taking a brain out of a biochemical nose-dive (for which you may have been set up in childhood).

Best wishes to you and hope things start improving.  Sometimes they don't until you've seen really dark stuff, unfortunately.


QuoteThis is a Cure fan forum after all.  :1f62d:

Oh, haha!  :winking_tongue

Well, you might just find reasonable people here that you can talk to, and possibly also some reasonable goths. ;)  I've never seen a goth in real life, by the way.
SueC is time travelling

piggymirror

Quote from: SueC on January 12, 2020, 00:41:30Well, I wasn't lucky, it was a story a friend told me, so maybe she was lucky! :)

You're right! I shouldn't read so fast.

Quote from: SueC on January 12, 2020, 00:41:30I'm not in a habit of handing out bank notes to random people for the exact reason you're stating - statistically, they're likely to go towards substance abuse habits, not food and housing.

Not on a regular basis, but sometimes I feel like doing it. And later I always feel a bit like an idiot, yes, but I guess that I will do it again...
And when I do, I may give a coin, or more... or a banknote, even a bigger one. Don't know why.  It depends on how I feel at that very moment.

As for charities, I have done in the past. Not at the moment though.
I'm a bit burned out by them, as the last time, after I gave my data and my money started going towards them, soon after they became more insistent, and that only increased over time, and at the end they became so overwhelming about me giving them more money, that I felt harassed, so I stopped it after two years.
I don't know why they were like that. I mean, at one point I felt as if everything that mattered to them was my data and my bank account, not me actually already giving them the money.
I sometimes wonder wether I was actually conned by someone pretending to be a part of that charity or not.

Quote from: SueC on January 12, 2020, 00:41:30hope things start improving.  Sometimes they don't until you've seen really dark stuff, unfortunately.

So you suggest I should turn off the lights?

Quote from: SueC on January 12, 2020, 00:41:30I've never seen a goth in real life, by the way.

I saw one recently... I think it was two months ago?

I bumped into her at a cinema, they were showing the last Depeche Mode film (an Anton Corbijn documentary).

She was her normal self and well into her 50's, all in black, but discreet (when goths grow old they have to get jobs, too... :lol: ).

SueC

Quote from: piggymirror on January 12, 2020, 00:58:21...(when goths grow old they have to get jobs, too... :lol: ).

...so what do young goths do?  Are they Breatharians? ;)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inedia

Or are they perhaps entirely sustained by music?
SueC is time travelling

SueC

Quote from: piggymirror on January 12, 2020, 00:58:21As for charities, I have done in the past. Not at the moment though.
I'm a bit burned out by them, as the last time, after I gave my data and my money started going towards them, soon after they became more insistent, and that only increased over time, and at the end they became so overwhelming about me giving them more money, that I felt harassed, so I stopped it after two years.
I don't know why they were like that. I mean, at one point I felt as if everything that mattered to them was my data and my bank account, not me actually already giving them the money.

Yeah, we have been starting to feel like that the last couple of years, and so we've actually jettisoned our long-term support of Greenpeace, the Australian Conservation Foundation, and another one I can't think of at the moment.  They've been behaving like hyenas, and we were fed up, and decided to use the money to support our own work with the 50-hectare nature conservation reserve that came as part and parcel of this farm we bought in 2010 (and live on), as well as towards tree planting for habitat rehabilitation, and expenses incurred by some of the animals we've given good homes to.

Such as this lot:



We don't have a lot of spare cash to throw around anyway, and prefer to offer our time (such as with the bushfire brigade) - or to work directly on things that charities work on.  This way, our money goes 100% to those animals or that tree planting or looking after that reserve, and none is wasted through administration, advertising, marketing or those annoying phone calls hounding you for more money.  And when I get one of those these days, I say, "I'm sorry, we can't spare any cash, would you like to make a donation towards our tree planting, animal care or general on-the-ground conservation efforts?"  Now the shoe is on the other foot... Bwahahahahaha!  :evil:

This has also freed us up to make small donations to places like this forum, and to make more small donations to the book and music industries. :winking_tongue   Preferably as directly as possible without any middle man, like through Bandcamp etc.
SueC is time travelling

piggymirror

Quote from: SueC on January 12, 2020, 01:02:23...so what do young goths do?  Are they Breatharians? ;)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inedia

Or are they perhaps entirely sustained by music?

They study and live with mum and dad.

Robert started this way, so that must be the only way after all.

...and housing prices.

SueC

Quote from: piggymirror on January 12, 2020, 02:44:49
Quote from: SueC on January 12, 2020, 01:02:23...so what do young goths do?  Are they Breatharians? ;)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inedia

Or are they perhaps entirely sustained by music?

They study and live with mum and dad.

Well, lots of people do.  Even I did it, although I got out of there at age 16, preferring a number of years of poverty to middle-class dysfunction and violence, and more strings attached to any kind of thing resembling affection than a Hardanger Fiddle has. :evil:


This is a Hardanger Fiddle - it has 8 or 9 strings instead of the usual 4 - but only 4 for playing, the rest are sympathetic things.


Quote from: undefinedRobert started this way, so that must be the only way after all.

ROFL  :rofl


Quote...and housing prices.

Are you in Australia by any chance?  If not, it's a big issue here too, and a large part of the reason my husband and I spent 5 years (not full-time) building our own house.  This made things far more affordable for us - i.e. we didn't have to live in a doghouse, but got to live in a passive solar eco-farmhouse.  We also recommend the Tiny House movement to people who are despairing of standard housing options.  It shouldn't be so hard, or so complicated...
SueC is time travelling