I wrote this on Saturday after The Cure show in the park had finished and before going into Seattle to see The Damned. I submitted it to The Cure's Facebook page and they looked at it and declined to post it, to no-one's great surprise. Well, I like it. This is not a review of the concert, this is a review of the preparations for it. So, here it is....
Conversation at CURE HQ some months ago...
"It's our 40th anniversary this year, what should we do?"
"A gig?"
"Oooh, THAT's a bit drastic...are you sure?"
"The kids are gonna want SOMETHING..."
"Oh, all right then."
"What should we play?"
"Let's just use this old set list here, it's from the 2016 tour."
"Brilliant!"
"Do you think we ought to acknowledge the occasion?"
"Why?"
"Ummm..."
"Wait, we have a POSTER here that acknowledges the occasion..."
"That's MORE than sufficient, don'tcha think?"
"Now, where can we ensure that we get an absolutely MASSIVE crowd that won't be able to see or hear us very well?"
"How about Hyde Park?"
"Wow, a second brilliant idea, might have to move you up on the list of seniority."
"Should we rehearse a couple songs we haven't done in a long time?"
"Nah, that would just confuse the situation. We already have to cut about an hour off our normal set time because it's a festival. You know how much the boys and girls LOVE foreshortened festival sets! Nothing but glowing reviews last time around!"
"Almost. That GLOW in Washington State was from a wildfire..."
"Nobody's perfect. Anything else?"
"Well, we have an opportunity to play ANOTHER gig two weeks before the gig in the park."
"The Hyde Park poster says ONLY EUROPEAN APPEARANCE IN 2018..."
"You don't really think anyone's gonna NOTICE that, do you?"
"Nah, let's just hope no one mentions it. The kids won't care."
"Any chance BREXIT will happen between the two gigs? 'Cause then TECHNICALLY..."
"Don't be an ****... I might have to re-think your promotion after THAT remark."
"Should we call Nigel just to be on the safe side?"
"No. You KNOW he doesn't like it when we call..."
"The pre-publicity for this Festival Hall gig is making it sound like several former members are going to be appearing on stage with us. Is that true?"
"Oh, please. What do you take me for? Besides, our fans don't go for the nostalgia schtick."
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Next time you're in America (if and when), why not turn Kansas into a festival site and both start and finish the tour by playing just one gig to half-a-million American Cure fans? The way you treated your hometown fans last Saturday was disgraceful. You underestimated EVERYTHING from start to finish. There may have been only one bridge left to burn, but it's gone now.
On behalf of the fans in the one city guaranteed NOT to appear on the itinerary for next year's world tour: Seattle