Started by SueC, January 26, 2020, 02:58:00
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Quote from: SueC on November 12, 2020, 07:04:19Wish almost feels like a theme album lyrically - so many songs on love gone wrong (or love at least presenting difficulties), one song on love gone right, one on manipulation, a mental health song, and that famous weekday ditty. That's just on first impression - I may be missing data at this stage.
QuoteI could debate endlessly his reasons for doing those things, or try to figure out why his personality had splintered to the point where he needed to inflict pain on others in order to feel alive, but that didn't alter the fact that those were his problems, his choices. Like all abusers he wanted me to believe I had no choice but to accept this behaviour, that I could never escape him. That had been true when I was younger, but I was now old enough to walk away from an abusive situation; if I failed to do so, then it became my problem, my choice. I had no control over my father's behaviour, but I had absolute control over my proximity. He could only hurt me while I chose to remain within range of the fist and the boot, the lie and the scream. If I wanted to stop the abuse, all I had to do was step outside his reach...Was I running away from the problem? Probably. But when you're in a situation where nothing will change, running away isn't just a solution, it's the only solution. No one being chased by a bobcat thinks, Maybe I should stick it out, try to make the relationship work. And there's some people in this world who are just frickin' bobcats.
QuoteMost of us seem to be hankering after romantic love. But few of us realize that, far from being timeless and universal, romantic love is a modern construct that emerged in tandem with the novel.In Madame Bovary (1856), itself a novel, Gustave Flaubert tells us that Emma Bovary only found out about romantic love through "the refuse of old lending libraries". ...were all about love and lovers, damsels in distress swooning in lonely lodges, postillions slaughtered all along the road, horses ridden to death on every page, gloomy forests, troubles of the heart, vows, sobs, tears, kisses, rowing-boats in the moonlight, nightingales in the grove, gentlemen brave as lions and gentle as lambs, too virtuous to be true, invariably well-dressed, and weeping like fountains....In Greek myth, eros is a form of madness brought about by one of Cupid's arrows.
QuoteIf you really want to know, there were some parts of going out with Tim that I didn't like. But when I came home, I'd fall onto my bed and lie there for hours. I'd watch the room floating with moonlight and scenes from my life would be silvered. Here on the bed I could change things. I was like a film director, freezing some scenes while I had a good look at a particular expression, a certain gesture. I played the first kiss scene over and over again. I felt Tim's hands stroking my face, his tongue tickling my ear, the music beating its way into my body. It made waves rise up in my belly like the tide coming in. I'd wanted that song to last forever - 'Fire", it was, and I'd never forget that, no matter what disasters happened later. I wanted that moment to last, to freeze that frame. Tim with his arms around me, shining down on me while I quivered in his light. I could feel his heart hammering hard against mine, the music vibrating through the floor, running like sap through my toes.On my bed, I'd replay that scene until I was exhausted. I was a star actor in a million-dollar movie. Then other moments would creep in. I'd chop the film there, letting the bad scenes fall into the dark. I'd grind my heel into those. I'd crush them down into the bottom of my mind, until no crack of light was emitted.
Quote"... I'm beginning to think that the kinds of people who have been classically venerated as important thinkers in Western culture are really just another symptom of the sickness that's inherent in Western societies, and that's driven us to the current point where we've nearly destroyed our own planet, after hundreds of years of destroying other cultures and ways of thinking."That's the whole crux of it right there. I remember reading Madame Bovary in college and thinking, oh yawn, another depressed privileged white lady. I recently finished a new-ish book on codependency and snuck in my thoughts about encultured codependence as a symptom/requirement of systemic oppression into today's post (which has taken me all week to write and I lost sleep over it - (husband's) surgery tomorrow which hasn't helped, lots of stuff converging right now. I remain convinced it's all to make room for a major, positive shift!)I agree that romantic love is very immature and as such, narcissistic. Very rich and very poor people are equally guilty of longing for ideal partnerships, the kind in love songs, movies and engagement ring commercials. Real love, as you and I are more acquainted with, requires things like cleaning up together after a bout of screaming, hiking while carrying a homemade birthday feast in your pack, doing introspective, messy healing work, having difficult conversations or carrying a box of used dialysis bags to the dumpster for the umpteenth time so the other person can get some rest. Not glamorous but full of much more substance than Hollywood marriages. While I love The Metamorphosis for the way it parallels my high school bout of anorexia, it's essentially a story about a selfish person who'd rather curl up and die than face himself. At 17, starving myself to death was a narcissistic response to my trauma history and instead of curling up and dying, like the character I played, I chose to die to my ego and tackle all my issues so I could live. What remains is more or less a handicapped coping skill I've yet to find a healthy replacement for.Anyhoo. Brilliant, spot on insights as always. Since we go against the grain it's hard to get lots of people to hear ya but at least there are blogs and forums to let it all out! I for one am always happy and satisfied to read your thoughts.
Quote from: undefinedIn a 1992 interview with Propaganda magazine, Robert Smith spoke about the connection felt by his fans towards the emotions reflected in his songwriting. In "End," the lyrics "Please stop loving me / I am none of these things," seemingly forms a plea to fans to limit their idolization of him:"This will always be an emotional band. I find it easy to write about what pours from my heart. It just so happens that much of what flows from it is downcast — almost desperate. Music is my way of moaning, of crying, of throwing a tantrum. It's not calculated, it's how I feel at the moment [...]Because my very private emotions have constantly been put on display like this for so long, many of our fans have strongly identified with them. These people seem to believe that I somehow have a special insight into things — that I'm somehow able to deliver all the answers to all their problems in life. I'd really rather not be thought of in that way, which is why I included the song "End" on the last album."
QuoteI find it easy to write about what pours from my heart. It just so happens that much of what flows from it is downcast — almost desperate. Music is my way of moaning, of crying, of throwing a tantrum. It's not calculated, it's how I feel at the moment [...]