Started by SueC, January 26, 2020, 02:58:00
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Quote from: SueC on November 12, 2020, 07:04:19Wish almost feels like a theme album lyrically - so many songs on love gone wrong (or love at least presenting difficulties), one song on love gone right, one on manipulation, a mental health song, and that famous weekday ditty. That's just on first impression - I may be missing data at this stage.
QuoteI could debate endlessly his reasons for doing those things, or try to figure out why his personality had splintered to the point where he needed to inflict pain on others in order to feel alive, but that didn't alter the fact that those were his problems, his choices. Like all abusers he wanted me to believe I had no choice but to accept this behaviour, that I could never escape him. That had been true when I was younger, but I was now old enough to walk away from an abusive situation; if I failed to do so, then it became my problem, my choice. I had no control over my father's behaviour, but I had absolute control over my proximity. He could only hurt me while I chose to remain within range of the fist and the boot, the lie and the scream. If I wanted to stop the abuse, all I had to do was step outside his reach...Was I running away from the problem? Probably. But when you're in a situation where nothing will change, running away isn't just a solution, it's the only solution. No one being chased by a bobcat thinks, Maybe I should stick it out, try to make the relationship work. And there's some people in this world who are just frickin' bobcats.
QuoteMost of us seem to be hankering after romantic love. But few of us realize that, far from being timeless and universal, romantic love is a modern construct that emerged in tandem with the novel.In Madame Bovary (1856), itself a novel, Gustave Flaubert tells us that Emma Bovary only found out about romantic love through "the refuse of old lending libraries". ...were all about love and lovers, damsels in distress swooning in lonely lodges, postillions slaughtered all along the road, horses ridden to death on every page, gloomy forests, troubles of the heart, vows, sobs, tears, kisses, rowing-boats in the moonlight, nightingales in the grove, gentlemen brave as lions and gentle as lambs, too virtuous to be true, invariably well-dressed, and weeping like fountains....In Greek myth, eros is a form of madness brought about by one of Cupid's arrows.
QuoteIf you really want to know, there were some parts of going out with Tim that I didn't like. But when I came home, I'd fall onto my bed and lie there for hours. I'd watch the room floating with moonlight and scenes from my life would be silvered. Here on the bed I could change things. I was like a film director, freezing some scenes while I had a good look at a particular expression, a certain gesture. I played the first kiss scene over and over again. I felt Tim's hands stroking my face, his tongue tickling my ear, the music beating its way into my body. It made waves rise up in my belly like the tide coming in. I'd wanted that song to last forever - 'Fire", it was, and I'd never forget that, no matter what disasters happened later. I wanted that moment to last, to freeze that frame. Tim with his arms around me, shining down on me while I quivered in his light. I could feel his heart hammering hard against mine, the music vibrating through the floor, running like sap through my toes.On my bed, I'd replay that scene until I was exhausted. I was a star actor in a million-dollar movie. Then other moments would creep in. I'd chop the film there, letting the bad scenes fall into the dark. I'd grind my heel into those. I'd crush them down into the bottom of my mind, until no crack of light was emitted.