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Design a terrible piece of Cure merchandise

Started by SueC, February 02, 2020, 02:30:11

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SueC

This comes to you courtesy of Brett, and no, he's not making his own account because what's the point?  So here I am taking dictation.  :)

He is inviting you to flex your creative muscles to design truly terrible Cure merchandise, i.e. not stuff you would seriously sell.  The idea comes from his Dr Who forum, where there is a long-standing thread with the same idea, which has given rise to much laughter amongst Dr Who fans.

Let's begin with something he knocked out a couple of weeks ago, initially for our own private amusement:

A green tea mug for Cure fans






And he gives you: 

The generic Cure concert black souvenir T-shirt signed by all the band members, in black.  Impress your friends, and strangers!  Comes in sizes:  Simon Gallup, Robert Smith, Bono's ego.  :-D



You go!  :evil:
SueC is time travelling

SueC

Cure Eco-Toothbrushes

Toothbrushes to rock your bathroom!



Environmentally friendly bamboo that you can whittle, Burn or compost after your toothbrush wears out.  Charcoal-infused bristles, now in distinctive styling - because it never was just about hair, it was about an aesthetic.


Dental Health Awareness Poster




PS: I probably would have just done cute black mops on toothbrushes, but as you can see, my husband has rather different ideas!  :lol:   ...by the way, I came in halfway through the poster design and he'd used "nudie" toothbrushes in his image, which come in his and hers, with cartoon wedding tackle and cartoon breasts respectively (google it!).  At that point the breasts were still on the toothbrush, and the toothbrush head was still normal, and I couldn't stop laughing.  Brett said to me, "Well, the breasts are going, because that's just wrong!"  It was extra funny because at that point the guitar body was still visible underneath the toothbrush, and it was like a toothbrush - guitar chimera, with cartoon breasts.
SueC is time travelling

Ulrich

Goal achieved: terrible, just terrible!  :lol:

But seriously, it looks amazing, just as if it were a real product, well done, I appreciate the design work Brett has put into this!  :smth023
If only I'd thought of the right words...

SueC

Yeah, it's truly hideous.  I'd never brush my teeth with something like that, just like I'd never brush my teeth with a live fish.  It just feels totally wrong.  The face on it - well, you just don't put something like that in your mouth.  Whereas what I saw in my mind when we brainstormed it, people might conceivably have used because it was kind of cute.  But Brett said, "No, it has to be something so terrible you'd not want to use it!"

The first image is very cleanly done.  He just composits stuff from different sources, like doing a collage but the programme allows you to shift, magnify, reduce, change, erase, add all sorts of things.  Swapping out the background on the packaging to a piece of album cover was really fast, for example.

The poster is what he calls "rough work" - you can see where he's cut stuff out, there's mistakes on it, hair grows out of space, the date is wrong (for the picture), etc.  He says it's because it's just a gag and not meant to be perfect, and that he hopes having some rough work like this would encourage others looking at this to say to themselves, "Well, I can do that too!" and submit something!  :)

If you want to see some truly amazing and funny Photoshop work, this is a classic:  https://www.designcrowd.com/community/  (what used to be called Worth1000)

SueC is time travelling

SueC

Cure Fortune Cookies

Coming soon to a Chinese restaurant near you. Orders for private functions also welcome.





SueC is time travelling

Ulrich

If only I'd thought of the right words...

SueC

...imagine being on a first date with someone, and getting that first cookie!  ROFL  :lol:

Whereas it would be a more appropriate suggestion for an established couple.  :angel

The other two would also be quite interesting to get... (and there's so many more possibilities...) :-D

SueC is time travelling

SueC

Simon Gallup Temporary Tattoo Kit

To give you the confidence to play your bass like a pro!



Not generally recommended for professional flautists.

To read why real tattoos are dangerous, see here:   https://www.tesd.net/cms/lib/PA01001259/Centricity/Domain/542/Skin%20by%20Roald%20Dahl.pdf
SueC is time travelling

SueC

Simon Gallup Super-Springy, Cushioned, Orthopaedically Correct Insoles

Makes those nightly 25 mile on-stage jaunts a breeze.  Handcrafted with love and German precision engineering.



Treat your feet with the care they deserve.

SueC is time travelling

SueC

Jason Cooper Electrolyte Kit

The secret behind drumming through Burn and other high-intensity tracks without cramping, so it will definitely cover whatever application you have for it.  Dissolve in water.  Also dissolves in beer, adding that boutique lemon flavour.



Available in bulk; as used by professional drummers.

SueC is time travelling

Ulrich

Quote from: SueC on March 01, 2020, 12:52:14The secret behind drumming through Burn and other high-intensity tracks without cramping, so it will definitely cover whatever application you have for it.

Well, actually in the real world... ->
http://curefans.com/index.php?topic=8791.0
 :1f635:
If only I'd thought of the right words...

SueC

OMG, @Ulrich:1f629:   Looks like an extreme sport...

I didn't know Jason Cooper has a sonic screwdriver!  :smth023  Things you learn from this forum!  :angel
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SueC

Jason Cooper Nutrition Hamper

Filled with goodies guaranteed to keep you going, for when you need to snack between meals or before an encore:  Camembert, quince paste, crackers, kavli, muesli bars, Lindt chocolate, trail mix, German Lebkuchen, peri peri biltong, dried fruit, preserved olives, fresh Danishes and profiteroles, and more.

SueC is time travelling

Ulrich

Mmmmmm. Camembert, Lindt... etc.
(no need for Lebkuchen this time of year though - maybe in September ha ha)!  :-D
If only I'd thought of the right words...

SueC

Yeah, the conceptual problem with this piece of terrible merchandise is that I'd totally buy it.  :yum:  I've never seen a better hamper - it's all completely delicious, and most of it is nutritionally useful!

Did you eat too much Lebkuchen at Christmas?  :lol:  ...I always thought of it as "anytime" food.  :angel  Particularly the chocolate subtype... and Brett is a happy convert to this, as is the case with other nice German bakery items like Brezen, Bienenstich, Nusshörnchen, Schnecken, Apfelstrudel etc.
SueC is time travelling