In Memoriam: Caley Barker (@lostflower4)

[dsanchez]

It is with deep sadness that I report the passing of Caley Barker (@lostflower4), who co-administered this forum during its golden years. Caley passed away on January 15, 2025. Fellow member Javier (@nausearockpig) shared this tragic news with me.

I first got to know Caley in late 2004 through another Cure forum. At the time, I was an intern at my university, experimenting with a web forum software. I wasn't fond of the design or the direction of the forum we were both part of, so I proposed him the idea of creating CUREFANS, "the meeting place for Cure fans worldwide." Caley liked the idea, and shortly after, in June 2005, CUREFANS was born.

It's hard to believe that was 20 years ago. Back then, with no Twitter, Facebook, Reddit or Instagram dominating the scene, forums were the primary space where Cure fans gathered to discuss the band and share rarities.

The success of this forum was largely due to Caley's dedication. Not only was he an active and excellent communicator, but he was also an avid taper and generously helped others with tips and guidance on how to get into taping. He was one of the two people who recorded the famous Kansas City gig in 2008, where Robert Smith experienced voice issues.

Caley's personal site, "imaginary-lemurs," offered free Cure downloads. In those days, personal websites were a common way for fans to trade and share music. His site can still be accessed via the Web Archive, a testament to his lasting contributions.

In 2014, I had the chance to meet Caley in person in London during The Cure's Christmas shows at Hammersmith Odeon. It was the first and only time I saw him. I regret not taking a picture with him and wish we had spent more time together that day.

Caley's passing is tragic news, and he will be deeply missed by The Cure fan community. Rest in peace, dear Caley

[u-a-b-f]

It's so sad that Caley is gone. I also met him at the 2014 Christmas shows. He was such a nice person. RIP Caley

[Jojo denovan]

Thank you for Infiforming me if Caleys sad dimise he was a lovely person I also met him in 2014 and was lucky that he & Marika came to Brighton for 2 or 3 days & I got to meet up with them he a kind funny guy and we used to send each messages on messenger but I hadn't heard from him for quite a while
But very sorry and sad to hear this terrible news

[nausearockpig]

Hi, this is what I posted over at the other forum.

Vale Caley Barker aka 'lostflower4'.

Today, through a somewhat curious and coincidental series of events*, I learned that on 15 January 2025, one of the biggest Curefans I ever had the pleasure of meeting and knowing, Caley Barker, aka lostflower4, took his own life. He as 45 years old at the time of his death.

Looking back at my mailbox, I met Caley on 6 June 2005 by asking if I could join the mailing list for his site imaginary-lemurs.com (last capture on archive.org before it was co-opted is web.archive.org/web/20120806175243/http://www.imaginary-lemurs.com/ ) and from there an international, email and Instant Chat friendship grew.

Caley was very generous with his sharing of shows, and was always willing to chat about the band, about shows, musical equipment, the albums, the singles, production, anything; you name it, he was up for a conversation. He would constantly push the envelope saying stuff to get a rise out of me, and a lot of the time, it worked, but I soon grew to see what he was trying to do, he was a classic!

He sent me a sample of some super hot chili sauce once. I smelled it, touched a tiny bit on my tongue and learned quickly that his local stuff was too much for me!
He would send me wildly inappropriate videos with innocuous file names in the hope I'd be grossed out when I clicked them. I only fell for that a few times.
We would have hilarious conversations making fun of the guy who runs or ran Curetrade.de. Man, that guy took himself too seriously. Hey whatever your name is, Caley used to give me all the passwords to your site! Hahah suck it!
He would talk about the differences in the American, Japanese and Squier Bass VIs. Unsurprisingly, he preferred the USA version.
He would try to rile me up about things we disagreed on, knowing full well we respected each other and our differing opinions.

When The Cure announced the Reflections shows in Sydney for the Vivid festival, Caley bought two seats, and plane flights and accommodation for himself in Sydney telling me to pay him back for the ticket whenever as "it's only money" - he didn't think it was so important, he was happy that we could go to the show together. A life-threatening situation got in the way and I wasn't able to make the show, so he called me during the Seventeen Seconds set! He hung around Sydney for a few days as I was scheduled to fly there for work and we met up for a few hours. It was nice to finally meet him face to face.

Things continued unabated until around 2013 where we lost touch but still there was occasional contact until the last message from him in 2018. I sent a few mails over the years but never heard back. The last time I emailed him was in October 2022.

He leaves behind a sister who misses her brother, and a girlfriend who is distraught, along with no doubt countless more of us who are sad and confused.

I hope wherever you are mate, you're happy & at peace, and that you're out there floating in whatever your afterlife is, doing your thing. Rest easy amigo.

Caley taped The Cure two times that I know of. He gave me his 2008 Kansas and 2011 Sydney tapes on the proviso that I kept them to myself as he wanted to use them for rare or difficult trades. I kept my word and marked them as DNT (Do Not Trade), but I figure now that he is gone, releasing these would be a fitting tribute to my wonderful and weird friend, who needed help but did not know how to ask for it, or where to get it, and whom I did not know needed help.

I know a lot of people will snag these, maybe listen to them, maybe not, and as they didn't know Caley, not think much about the shows or the man who taped them. That's okay, it would be foolish to think it's realistic that someone would pause to somehow have meaningful thoughts about someone they don't know. Perhaps though, as you snag and don't listen to the shows, or do actually listen to them, you can pick up your phone, send a message to that one person you know who is pretty weird, who sometimes seems a bit like they could use an ear or a helping hand, and just see if they're okay or even what they're up to. You never know how your actions may help someone.

I will share those tapes here a little later on today.

Be well.

[MeltingMan]

In 2014, I had the chance to meet Caley in person in London during The Cure's Christmas shows at Hammersmith Odeon. It was the first and only time I saw him.

I might also, on the evening of the 22nd. We had a small gathering in front of the building. I remember him as a warm-hearted person. He may rest in peace. 

took his own life.

Whaat? 

[Ulrich]

Although I never met him and didn't really interconnect much here on the forum, I am really sorry to hear about this, a sad week for us all here on CF. 

[dsanchez]

We would have hilarious conversations making fun of the guy who runs or ran Curetrade.de. Man, that guy took himself too seriously. Hey whatever your name is, Caley used to give me all the passwords to your site! Hahah suck it!

here we were explaining how this site came to life...

https://curefans.com/index.php?topic=17.0

July 2005
 

[Trust...]

I feel so sorry about this lost, even I never met Caley.

[luiscure]

Our Deepest Condolences – In Memory of Caley Barker.

Dear Curefans

On behalf of Mexicure, we are deeply saddened by the passing of Caley. Their passion and dedication to The Cure united fans from all over the world, creating a space of love and appreciation for the music that connects us all.

Their contribution to the fan community will never be forgotten. We extend our heartfelt condolences to their family, friends, and everyone who had the privilege of knowing them. May their memory live on through the music and the community they helped build.

With love and sympathy,
Mexicure

[dsanchez]

The band sent condolences

so sorry to hear about caley - sending condolences and love - the cure

— The Cure (@thecure) March 10, 2025

[japanesebaby]

Grave news.
Nausearockpig above already put it into words so well, about our "weird and wonderful friend".

It can be sometimes difficult in hindsight to quite understand the sheer novelty of internet forums back in the day, and how curefans (and other similar forums in its wake, too) changed and shaped the Cure fandom. Connecting and networking with other fans on a forum vs. trying to find contacts on your own, often like grasping in the dark, let alone doing so by snail mail (I mean by good ol' postal service, that's letters and stuff — makes me feel old to say that).
Anyway, it really opened the doors for the first time for many fans to truly connect with likeminded people, helped us find each other, no matter where in the world we happened to be located (especially for us who felt like we lived on the outer rim of the galaxy). That was a source of joy and it brought meaning to many of us. Just saying it again, since it's so easy to forget these days.

I cannot unfortunately access my early 2000s mailbox anymore but nevertheless, I very well do remember receiving an email from Caley way back in early summer 2005 when the forum was brand-new, with an invitation to join curefans. How he ever even got my email I can't remember (probably by some mass download of email addresses from the Cure official site or some trick like that), anyway, that's how and when I got to know him.

Many of us, who have fond memories about the origins of this community, have long since wandered off and ended up elsewhere, somewhere, who-even-knows-where (perhaps the famous "life happened", be it happy or sad, and so on). But not without this place leaving its mark and a hoard of memories, and perhaps at its best, not without granting us with a friendship or two.
So, about legacies and the big picture: whatever the high ideals, by nature our lives are bound to be incomplete and our efforts unfinished. And yet, the community is still here after 20 years and keeps engaging people, so it seems to me now as I visit. I mean, these days twenty years is a pretty long time for something to last, isn't it? Now that's something too, I suppose. 

Vade feliciter quovis transisti, vade fortiter.

[tzare]

My condolences to family and friends.
Rest in peace